Update-71
Ek baar Arman ne college me ek ladke ko buri tarah maarne ke dauran jab hostel waalo ne use rokna chaha toh usne kaha tha ki " lawda, main bahut selfish banda hoon, duniyadari kaa kaam duniya par chhod deta hoon. Jab mere jeene -marne se logo ko koyi fark nahi padta to fir bhala mujhe kyun unke jeene -marne se koyi fark padne laga.. Isliye ise toh main marunga, marte dum tak maarunga.".
So once again, Time Travel... Jaha main Past ke future ki conversation ko Interceptor ki kamaan sambhale Past ke bhi Past me use kar raha hoon... Confused..?? I'm Too. aur mujhe pata hai ki aisa karna future ke dialogue ko past me use kar lena samay ke santulan ko bigadna hai, fir bhi maine ye kiya.. Kyunki main ye kar sakta hoon. Afterall, I AM THE FUCKING NARRATOR.
Isliye jab Riya & Sanjana ko ab mujhse koyi matlab nahi toh fir mujhe kyon unse matlab hone laga. Main baahar se khud toh normal behave karta lekin school ke teachers aur students ko normal behave karta dekh unpar bahut gussa karta... raah chalte logo ko dekhkar gussa aata, school me bench ke neeche zameen me chalti hui cheetiyo ko dekhkar gussa aata, school ke pillars, playground ko dekhkar gussa aata… copy, pen, bag, bench, chair, board, deewar, gate khidki, ped-paudhe…. Sabhi jeevit chizo se lekar, sabhi nirjeev chizo par mujhe gussa aata. Un dino sirf ek hee line mere dimag thi wo ye ki bhaad me jaye sab, gand maraye sab….
Rahi baat competition ki toh Mini aksar lunch me mere aur Ved ke paas aati, aadatan kayi sawal karti, jisme se jo bahut jyada important the… uska jawab Ved deta aur fir ignore maar deta… mujhse toh Mini kuch puchhati bhi nahi thi. Kyunki use maloom tha ki main koyi jawab nahi dene wala… fir wo chali jati… ek baar usne hume kaha ki Principal sir, cabin me hum dono ko bula rahe hai… jispar hum dono class me hee rahe. Isliye aaj fir Saxsena ne apne cabin me hume bulaya tha….. Madarchod….
“chal, Saxsena ki gand me bamboo kar ke aate hai…”Ved ne kaha
“is madarchod ko ab kya puchhna hai… sab toh 10-10 baar puchh liya…. Betichod”
" tu toh aaj kal mere type baat-baat pe gaali dene laga hai... Waise, Bio wali ki moti gand me chull hoga… usi ne bulwaya hoga Saxsena se”
“randi madarchod… chodari, burchatti… hagandi, gookhani~गू खानी iski dayi ko chod dalu… bhadwi... Iske chut me hath daal kar bacha dani kheench lunga”
“aisa kya.... chal fir…”
“kaha…”
“yahaaaaaa…. 10 points…”
Ved ko point chadhata dekh main halka sa muskuraya aur bola ki wo aage-aage jaye main moot ke thodi der me aata hu… jiske baad Ved ne suggestion diya ki Bio wali mam ka muh hote hue bathroom me kyun jaana...usi ke muh me moot dena…. Jise maine thukra diya aur fir se kaha ki… tu jaa, main thodi der me aata hu.
Ved ke jaane ke lagbhag 5 minute ke baad main Saxsena ke cabin me jaane ke liye apni class se nikla… Jafar apni class ke saamne khada tha. ye sach bhi tha ya nahi, par mujhe pata nahi aisa kyun lagta tha ki Ranjan ki maut se kisi ko yadi koyi fayda hua hai toh wo Jafar hai… kyunki Ranjan ke murder ke baad main use har dam sirf haste hue , muskurate hue dekhta aur logo ki hasi se mujhe un dino itni nafrat ho gayi thi ki jise bhi haste hue dekhta , mann karta ki unke muh me lund de du…. Literally….
Mujhe pakka yakin tha ki Jafar ne hee apne aadmiyo ke dwara Ranjan ko marwaya hai, fir jab Ranjan ke papa beech me aaye toh unhe bhi raaste se hata diya. Waise bhi Ranjan aur uske papa itne heavy the ki kisi ek aadmi ke bas ki baat nahi thi, kisi ek ko toh wahi dono zinda kaat dete… ye ek se adhik logo ka kaam tha isliye meri conspiracy theory ka main Villain ab bhi Jafar hee tha.
Apni conspiracy theory ko apne dimag me naye-naye aayam tak pahuchakar, Jafar ko ghoorte hue main uski taraf badh raha tha, jaha wo apne do dosto ke sath khada kisi baat par hans raha tha aur pichhale kuch dino ki tarah Riya Rose, Mini aur Madhu ke sath wahi uske paas khadi thi. jab main uske najdeek pahucha toh uski bhi nazar mujh par padi… mujhe ghoorta hua paakar usne bhi mujhe gusse se ghoorna chalu kar diya aur jab uske paas se gujra toh peechhe railing par apne dono hath rakhkar style me khade hote hue wo mujhse bola...
“ghoor kya raha hai be, maarega kya…”
“chal khol… abhi maarta hu”bolkar main aage badh gaya
“Mere ek jhapad me moot maarega tu… ab Chitranjan nahi hai, tujhe bachane ke liye…. Jiske dam pe uchak raha tha naa itne dino se wo toh gaya, isliye ab apni aukaat me rahna... Warna pura khandan khatam kar dunga tera...."
"Very good....."sunkar main muskuraya par andar hee andar puri taqat ke sath chillaya... Mere sharir ki ek -ek nash gusse se thar-thar kaanpne lagi
"Paagal ho gaya hai kya be.."wahi khade Jafar ke ek dost ne mujhe muskurate hue kaanpta dekh hairan hokar kaha
Riya.... Madhu aur Mini ke sath waha se door chali gayi thi... Lekin thi ab bhi wahi corridor me, jaha se wo pura nazara dekh sakti thi.
"Teri saari gundayi main wahi ghusa dunga, jaha se tu nikla hai... Waise teri maa ko dard bahut hoga... Jab main aisa karunga toh.." muskurate hue, gusse se kaanpte hue maine, Jafar se kaha
"Ranjan bhi yahi bola karta tha.. Ab tu bhi yahi bol raha hai..."
Itna bolkar Jafar chup ho gaya … jiske baad main chup-chap waha se aage badh gaya aur kuch kadam ki doori par jaha seedhiya neeche jaane ke liye shuru hoti thi waha pahuchkar main ruka yaa mere kadam apne aap ruk gaye....? Mujhe nahi pata... Kyunki chalte -chalte mere dimag ne Jafar ke shabdo par gaur kiya ki Jafar ne abhi kya bola hai aur uska kya matlab hai..... Mere kaano me Jafar dwara kahi gayi aakhiri line bajne lagi aur mere dimag ne usi line ke base pe mujhe green signal de diya
"Ranjan bhi yahi bola karta tha, Ab tu bhi yahi bol raha hai..."
Jafar ki is ek line ne meri conspiracy theory ko sahi saabit kar diya. Baaki gussa toh itne din se mere andar bhara hee hua tha, jise Jafar ki us ek line ne aur badha diya… Ranjan ke khoon hone ke baad maine raat-raat bhar jaag kar soch rakha tha ki yadi bychance kabhi Ranjan ka qatil mere saamne khada ho toh main uske sath kya karunga...?? Aur wo is waqt yahi mauzood tha, bilkul mere paas... Meri oor peeth kiye hue.
Seedhiyo ke paas khade rahkar maine apne jabde par pure sharir ka force apply kiya aur jor se silently chillaya par jab laga ki jabda toot kar neeche gir jayega toh silently chillana band kar diya, lekin mera dimag ghoom raha tha aur uske andar Jafar ke shabd bhi ghoom rahe the. Jiske baad mera sar bhi gusse me ghoomne laga aur fir ant me main bhi ghooma aur Jafar ki taraf badha…. Badha kya...sidhe dauda...
Jafar dusari taraf muda hua tha yani pahla prahar main jaise chahe waise kar sakta tha.. mujhe pata tha ki mere pahle prahar ke baad mere sath kya hoga… Wo bhi jab Jafar ke dost uske sath ho, upar se sab ke sab saale sports wale the, mere se jyada hatte-katte. Jafar ki taraf badhte hee main samajh gaya tha ki mere dwara prahar karte hee main bahut buri tarah maar khaane wala hoon. isliye main apne is pahle prahar ko hee aisa banana chahta thi Jafar ki khade-khade maiyya chud jaye… is ladayi me mere liye sirf ek plus point tha aur wo tha mera gussa.... Jo beet rahe har nano second ke sath badhta jaa raha tha. apne dahine hath ke kade ko dabate hue main Jafar ki taraf dauda aur kood kar pahle kohni se Jafar ke sar ke beecho-beech khopdi pe puri taqat se mara, taaki uska sar fat jaaye. Jafar mere maarte hee dono hatho se apna sar pakad kar buri tara cheekha... chillaya... Aur uski aawaz sunkar mujhe bahut hee achchha feel hua...
Kohni maarne ke turant baad main thoda peechhe hokar ek laat uske kamar par puri taqat se maara…. Jafar apne thik saamne jisse baat kar raha tha , mere laat maarne par wo dono thodi door tak aage ki oor ladkhadaye aur fir ladkhadate hue neeche gir gaye… Jafar neeche pade-pade chillate hue ab bhi apna sar dabaye jaa raha tha aur idhar main bhi ab apni kohni malne laga. Sala jab mujhe itna dard ho raha hai, toh use kitna ho raha hoga....
Mujhe toh laga tha ki maine Jafar ka khel khatm kar diya hai aur wo ab nahi uthega, lekin wo Apna sar dabate hue jald hee uth khada hua aur ab muskurate hue meri oor dekha.... Maano mujhse kah raha ho ki… yahi toh chahta tha main ki tu mujhse akele bhide sabke saamne aur fir ye uski jubaan par bhi aa gaya...
"Us din ki beijjati ka badla aaj lunga main... Jab inhi logo ke beech Ranjan ne tere kaaran mujhe maara tha... Uski aatma tadap uthegi teri pelayi dekhkar... " apna sar malte hue Jafar ne mere peechhe kisi ko aankho se ishara kiya...
Maine turant peechhe palat kar dekha, mere peechhe bahut ladke the aur kuch ladkiya bhi... ladke-ladkiya ab apni-apni class ke saamne khade ho gaye the is utsukta me ki ab aage kya hoga…. Jafar khada hua aur aur meri taraf teji se dauda, lekin maine toh physics padhi hui hai isliye Jafar ke impact ko kam karne ke liye maine apne sharir ka pura bal neeche transfer kar diya aur apne pairo ko majbooti ke sath zameen par dabaya… ki jaise hee ye aayage, isko jhuka kar iski peeth me kohni se fir maarunga
"Madarchhooo....." kisi ne achanak hee ek mukka mere jabde me mara, mujhe hawa tak nahi laga ki kisne maara aur kidhar se.
fir kisi aur ne turant usi waqt peechhe se meri gardan apne hath (forearm) se daboch li…. Meri gardan ko peechh se daboch kar wo log mujhe ghaseet kar aage Jafar ki oor le jaane lage aur jab Jafar daudkar mere paas aaya toh wo thoda ruka, apne hatho ko sahlaaya... Meri aankho me thodi der ke liye dekha aur fir apne dono hatho se mujhe gaaliya dete hue mere pet pe mukka maarne laga. bich -bich me jin do aur logo ne mujhe pakad rakha tha wo bhi kabhi mera baal pakad kar mere gaal par jhapad maarte toh kabhi -kabhi mere peeth par mukka jad dete aur maarne ke baad fir se mujhe pakad lete... Is dauran Jafar thoda pichhe khiska aur daudkar apne kandhe se mere seene me maara... Jafar ka majboot kandha mere seene me lagte hee Itna tej dard aur aisi ghabrahat hui us pal ki... Laga bas... Behan...chho..chod. ye mere is jiwan ka aakhiri samay hai, upar se pichhe se ek ladke ne gardan aur daba rakhi thi, jiske kaaran thik dhang se main saans tak nahi le paa raha tha.
Jafar ka impact itna tej tha ki mujhe pakdane wale ladke bhi kuch kadam peechhe kisak gaye… jiske baad mujhe pata chala ki mujhe do ladko ne nahi balki teen ladko ne peechhe se pakad rakha hai… Do logo ne mera ek-ek hath pakda hua tha aur ek mera gardan lagatar dabaye jaa raha tha, maano mera gala ghotkar maarne ka vichar ho uska…. Par ain waqt par mere dwara gardan idhar-udhar karne ke kaaran wo thik se meri gardan nahi daba paa raha tha.
Jafar mera baal pakadkar jor se kheencha aur fir mere gaal par apni paancho ungaliya chhap di… Jafar ka hath mere gaal par padte hee main tamtama utha… maine aaj tak jitna khaya tha, jitna mere sharir me dam tha... utna pura jor laga diya , un teeno ki pakad se aazad hone ke liye… lekin siway unhe thoda sa idhar -udhar hilane ke main kuch nahi kar paya… Jafar ka jhapad padte hee meri aankho se usi samay aansu bhi nikale, ,kyunki jhapad padte hee mujhe achanak Ranjan ki yaad aa gayi thi
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P.S. feeling bad, upset...?? Isko padho maza aayega

The XForum Poop - #3 ~ The Racist, The Sexist & The Incest Edition