Mr. Perfect
"Perfect Man"
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Behad hi shandar update tha SGP bhai______
Daru kya kya karwa deti hai ye atharva ko samajh aa gaya hai. Daru ke nashe me pahle to usne riya se baat ki aur usko ulta sidha bola fir wo sanjana silky se milne uske ghar gaya lekin waha par sunayana mam ka husband karan naik kisi daitya ki tarah najar aa gaya. Atharva to nashe me talli tha is liye use jyada fark nahi pada aur fir us daityakar aadmi se bhi bhid gaya. Normal situation hoti to atharva aisa karne ka sochta bhi nahi kyo ki karan ki ek dahaad par uska moot nikal jata lekin daru bhai daru saali kya nahi karwa deti. Atharva use patthar maar kar bhag nikla tha par jab usse bhi uska man nahi bhara to wapas aaya aur sanjana silky ko niche se awaaj dene laga. Khidki par patthar marne laga. Waise ye karan naik sanjana silky ke kamre me kyo tha. Kahi ye silky ke sath maje to nahi le raha tha. Har baar yahi dikh jata tha. Koi chakkar jarur lagta hai bhai_______
Dusre din ved atharva ko milta hai aur dono me baate hoti hain jisme atharva use batata hai ki daru ne lafda karwa diya hai usse. Ved use bolta hai ki uske rahte wo tension na le. Sahi hai bhai in dono ko tension lene ki kya jarurat hai. Ye to khud dusro ke liye tension hain. Mast update tha bhai maja aa gaya______
Daru kya kya karwa deti hai ye atharva ko samajh aa gaya hai. Daru ke nashe me pahle to usne riya se baat ki aur usko ulta sidha bola fir wo sanjana silky se milne uske ghar gaya lekin waha par sunayana mam ka husband karan naik kisi daitya ki tarah najar aa gaya. Atharva to nashe me talli tha is liye use jyada fark nahi pada aur fir us daityakar aadmi se bhi bhid gaya. Normal situation hoti to atharva aisa karne ka sochta bhi nahi kyo ki karan ki ek dahaad par uska moot nikal jata lekin daru bhai daru saali kya nahi karwa deti. Atharva use patthar maar kar bhag nikla tha par jab usse bhi uska man nahi bhara to wapas aaya aur sanjana silky ko niche se awaaj dene laga. Khidki par patthar marne laga. Waise ye karan naik sanjana silky ke kamre me kyo tha. Kahi ye silky ke sath maje to nahi le raha tha. Har baar yahi dikh jata tha. Koi chakkar jarur lagta hai bhai_______
Dusre din ved atharva ko milta hai aur dono me baate hoti hain jisme atharva use batata hai ki daru ne lafda karwa diya hai usse. Ved use bolta hai ki uske rahte wo tension na le. Sahi hai bhai in dono ko tension lene ki kya jarurat hai. Ye to khud dusro ke liye tension hain. Mast update tha bhai maja aa gaya______
Update-27
Riya ke call disconnect karne ke baad maine Riya ko fb me jis photo ki painting banana hai, uska link bhej diya… taaki kaam chalu rahe. Baaki husband-wife ke beech ye Ladayi-jhagda toh chaltaa hee rahta hai. Waise jab main link bhej raha tha toh mujhe aabhas hua ki… ab toh wo mujhse baat bhi nahi karne wali , painting kya khaak banayegi… lekin fir bhi maine link bhej diya... taaki wo aur jal-bhun jaaye...
Riya ko messege karne ke baad main ghar ke darwaje par taala markar , Jafar ko gaaliya dete hue Sanjana se milne ke liye ravana hua…
“Silky…. Silky .... Silky-Milky.... lol.... waise sahi hai, doodharu ladki hai Sanjana. abeyyy Sanjana… khol.. apna................... darwaja...”uska darwaja lagatar peet-te hue main bola aur tab tak uska darwaja peet-ta raha jab tak ki Sanjana ne darwaja nahi khola….
“tu kaun….?”usne mujhse puchha
“pahle ye bata tu kaun hai... matlab...aap kaun hai”
Aaya toh main Sanjana se milne tha, par darwaja Sanjana ne nahi khola tha, ye toh koyi aur tha… lagbhag 6ft lambi height wala bhari-bharkam sharir liye ye prani , ye Sanjana nahi thi… ye toh koyi Nar tha aur Sanjana…. Sanjana toh maada hai… sexy maada.
“Karan Naik…. Sunayana ka husband…”
“ Mr. Sunayana… ? lol... anyway... Sanjana kaha hai…”darwaje se ghar ke andar nazar maarte hue maine puchha
“kyun…?”jaha se main andhar jhak raha tha Karan Naik , wahi saamne khada hokar mujhse puchha “tum kaun ho..”
“main...? mujhe nahi jaante...? main Atharva Singh Bhattacharya, 12th Mathematics, The Topper of Sanskar Valley… Sanjana ka friend, hum dono ek hee school me padh rahe hai, chaar saal se... hehehe… hahaha.... huhuhu...”
“ek hee school me padhte ho ya na padhte ho… mujhe us-se kya… Sanjana se kaam kya hai....? aur daant kyun faad raha hai..”
“bas aise hee… bore ho raha tha ghar par toh.. socha…”
“time dekha hai tune…raat ke 9 baj rahe hai…”
“arey aap use bulaye na… sidhe...faltu me dimag....” Karan Naik ke sawal-jawab se pareshan hokar maine kaha
“taav kise dikha raha hai be… chal nikal..”
“sorry…?”
“chal nikal yaha se… Sanjana se nahi milega tu..”mujhe dhakka dete hue Karan Naik bola…
Usne mujhe jaise hee dhakka diya main bhauchakka hokar wahi kuch der shant khada raha… maine ye kabhi nahi socha tha ki mere sath kabhi aisa bhi ho sakta hai, … ki koyi mujhe apne ghar se dhakka dekar waha se jaane ke liye kahega… uspar se wo ghar Sanjana ka hoga.... kabhi nahi. Ye toh ho hee nahi sakta. afterall, main pure school ka sabse lovable student tha… lekin abhi ye jo ho raha tha… Karan Naik pata nahi… kyun jabran phaile jaa raha tha aur us-se bhi buri baat ye thi ki main use kuch kar bhi nahi sakta tha… ek toh ghar uska, upar se sala danav ki tarah lamba-chauda… yadi uski tarah main bhi use dhakka deta toh peechhe main hee khisak jata… isliye mujhe chup-chap waha se chale jaana chahiye tha… lekin kyunki mere andar abhi rum tha, isliye main abhi numb tha… matlab main wahi khada raha… Karan mujhe ghoorta raha aur main use…
“yaha se apne aap jayega ya laat kha ke jayega…”
“abbey.. tuuuu... tu jaanta nahi mere ko aur main kya kar sakta hu tere sath…”maine ungali dikha kar Karan Naik ko darane ka prayas kiya
“achchha ….hahaha... Kya ukhad lega... bol”gate ke paas seedhiyo par baith-te hue wo mujhpar hasne laga... jis se mera dimag aur satakne laga.
“patthar maar ke bhag jaunga aur jhaant, tu mujhe pakad bhi nahi payega…”
“achchha… chal maar… yahi baitha hu main… chal maar… maar munna... ”puchkarte hue usne kaha
par main uske bahkave me nahi aaya, kyunki… ek toh main jaise hee patthar uthane ke liye jhukta, wo mujhe turant pakad ke peet deta. dusara.. waha neeche aas-paas koyi patthar bhi nahi dikh raha tha, isliye… main dheere-dheere reverse mode me peechhe jaane laga… jiske baad wo bhi khada hua aur andar jaane ke liye peechhe muda… tab… tab.. maine kinare gamle ke paas rakha ek patthar uthaya aur dum lagakar saale ki peeth me de maara…..
“madaaaaar...”turant peeth sahlaate hue Karan Naik peeche palta
“badhayi ho, aap chodu ban gaye…”Itna bolkar main turant waha se bhag liya… mere saamne uchkega....... lawda
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Karan Naik se ye meri pahli mulaqat thi. Mana ki Karan Naik is ghar ka mard tha lekin use fir bhi mujhse aisi baat nahi karni chahiye thi, ajeeb hee lad-nipor aadmi tha wo, jabran ka ladayi kar raha tha… par main uske bartaav se itna ashcharya-chakit nahi tha, jitna ki Sanjana ke bartaav se tha… mera matlab , jab Karan aur meri bahas ho rahi thi gate par toh Sanjana ko sunayi toh diya hee hoga fir wo bahar kyun nahi aayi…? Kahi Karan Naik hitler ke maafiq toh bartaav nahi karta Sanjana aur Sunayana mam ke sath…?
Abhi mera Sanjana se milne ka full mann tha. main ekdum sab kuch bata dena chahta tha, Sanjana ko... sath me ye bhi bata dena chahta tha ki kab-kab usko sochkar main mutth maara hoon.... Fir maa chudaye meri reputation, Maa chudayi dosti aur maa chudaye, Jafar . par burchodi ka Karan Naik ... wo bhosdi ka burchatta, ladkiyo ki bur sungh kar unki umra bata dene wala... bursungha... bitiya chod... mujhe Sanjana se milne nahi diya, par iska matlab ye nahi ki wo mujhe Sanjana se milne se rok lega… mere paas aur bhi raaste the, Sanjana se milne ke… 1st ye ki main Sanjana ko call karu… lekin uske paas toh mobile tha hee nahi, jiska reason main hee tha… isliye ye wala option xxxxxx nahi tha.
Dusara option ye tha ki main us-se wahi jakar aawaz du, jaha se sirf wahi sun sake… yani ki us jagah jaakar Sanjana ko aawaz lagau, jaha se usne mujhe cup fek-kar maara tha. Isliye aadhe raaste se main wapas Sanjana ke ghar ki taraf muda…
“Silky… Silky-Milky…. Silky baby… Sanju darling… Jafar ki item... Jafar Madarchod... ”neeche khade hokar Sanjana ko aawaz maarte hue main bola… par wo khidki pe nahi aayi
Isliye maine ek chhota sa patthar uthaya aur seedhe uski khidki pe mara… par patthar khidki par nahi laga.. isliye maine dusari baar try kiya , jo abki baar seedhe khidki me laga aur fir uske room me kuch halchal hui, jiske baad main apni is hoshiyari par khushi se uchhal pada aur jor se bola... Jafar Madarchod.
“TUUUUU… RUK SALE TU…. KHOON KAR DUNGA TERA MAIN… MADARCHOD” Khidki se apna sar nikal kar Karan Naik cheekha… jise dekh main wahi khade-khade ladkhadaya
“kya be ladchatt.... Mr. Sunayana...”
“Madarchod...”
“teri maa ko kab chod diya main... acha yaad aaya... tera baap nahi chod paa raha tha, tab bulaya tha mere ko....”
Aur itna bolkar maine bina der kiye ek aur patthar sadak se uthaya aur fir se Karan Naik ko nishana banaya… par abki baar wo bach gaya, dayichod aur patthar deewar par laga…. Jiske baad main waha se jitna tej bhag sakta tha, utni teji se ghar ki oor bhaga....
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Daru peene ke baad kya hota hai, kaise hota hai, uska parinaam kya hota hai... ye main zindagi me jara der se samjha. Par tab tak ye ho chuka tha. pahle toh nahi pata tha par ab jab bhi sochta hoon toh bahut saare dusparinaam Daru peene ke mujhe samajh aate hai, jinme se ek ye hai ki... Daru peene ke baad aur daru peene ka mann karta hai. us din bhi mera mann kiya aur maine piya bhi... Sanjana ke jija ka game bajane ke baad main apne ghar aaya... EL DORADO se aur daru nikala aur fir pani milakar level karne baad gatak gaya aur bahut der tak neeche farsh par leta raha.. chhat ki oor dekhte hue kuch sochta raha.... kya soch raha tha, kyun soch raha tha. nahi pata. Fir maine smell bhagane ke liye brush kiya, fridge se dhaniya patti nikal kar aise hee khaya aur ant me ilaayachi ke kayi daane. Khaana khane ki himmat nahi ho rahi thi, par yadi khana nahi khata toh Mommy jaroor mujhe uthati... bina khaana khilaye toh unhone aaj tak mujhe bukhar hone tak me nahi sone diya tha. isliye... maine apne hisse ka khana plate me nikala aur bahar ek gay ko khila diya aur girte-padte apne bistar par aa gira.....
Dusare din aankh khulte hee mujhe andaza ho chala tha ki maine bahut kuch kiya hai... kuch –kuch mujhe pura yaad tha aur bahut kuch jo mere dimag me aa raha tha, usme main confuse tha ki... maine sach me aisa kiya hai yaa fir ye meri dimag ki upaj hai.... yahi sab sochte hue main school ke liye taiyar hokar nikla aur Sanajana ke ghar ke gate se thoda aage khada ho gaya, waise toh pahle main bejhijhak uske ghar me ghus jata tha, lekin kal raat ke baad meri himmat nahi ho rahi thi … isliye main wahi khade hokar Sanjana ka intezaar karne laga… Sanjana toh nahi aayi, lekin peechhe se Ved jaroor aa gaya…
“Sanjana aa rahi hai kya…”
“pata nahi… main bhi usi ke intezaar me khada hu…”
“chal fir main , nikalta hu… Sanjana se baat nahi karta main..”Ved waha se aage badha
“ruk main bhi chalta hu… nahi aayegi, lagta hai…”uske peeche-peeche chalte hue maine kaha…
“tu ruka kyun nahi Sanjana ke liye…”
“isliyeeeee… 3 point…nahi ruka.. wo, uska jija aaya hua hai… sala mujhe ghar me ghusne tak nahi diya kal , dhakka dekar ghar se nikal diya... wo alag…”
“beizzaati kar di usne teri toh… hahaha”
“karne de.... main kaun sa topchand hu… jo koyi meri beizzti nahi kar sakta… waise beizzati se yad aaya, kal tu chala kyun gaya tha…”
“hat lawda… do log milke mujhe bully kar rahe the…”
Jiske baad hum dono kuch der ke liye kuch nahi bole aur fir jaise hee mujhe yaad aaya toh main turant bol pada...
“toh finally aaj se shuru…”
“aaj se shurru…?”
“competitions ki taiyari…”
“hum log kisme participate karenge…?”
“Quiz…? bas teesara bio se kisi ko dhoondhna hai…”
“Riya ko le le, hum dono ke beech me baithegi toh… mast maza aayega…”
“hawasi bsdk… wo waise painting me jayegi jaha tak mera anumaan hai…”
“Sanjana ke against…?”
“ab isme main kya kar sakta hu…”
“pelayega beta tu ab… in dono ke beech… khair, tension mat le…jab tak Ved Sir hai, koyi naa koyi raasta nikal lenge … Rosie ke sath baat kaha tak pahuchi…?”
“about that… thoda lafda ho gaya hai shayad….”
“ab kya ho gaya…”
“maine kal nashe me shayad bahut kuch bol diya hai use aur usse bhi badi baat ki.... yaad bhi nahi hai ki kya-kya bol diya hoon… tera EL Dorado toh gand Marado nikla… bas itna yaad hai ki maal-vaal bol diya tha use…”
“itne me bur nahi maanti ladkiya, upar se jab unhe maloom ho ki tu approach kar raha hai… wo gussa karegi, lekin andar hee andar bahut khush bhi hogi ki tune use maal kaha… messeges dikha mujhe, abhich do-teen messege bhej kar aar-paar karta hoon pura mamla…”
“aar-paar nahi karna hai, bhai aur yahi toh problem hai…”
“kya problem be… ab ye mat bolna ki ye tera aur Rosie ke personal messeges hai aur tu mujhe dikha nahi sakta, yadi aisa bola na toh tera pura kachcha-chittha uske saamne khol dunga aur tujhe Nagdi Gang me shamil kar dunga”
“Nagdi Gang...? acha, nagdi gang.....”
Nagdi Gang: Ved ki kalpanao me se ek kalpana thi Sexy Saahityakar aur usi Sexy Saahityakar ki kayi parikalpanao me se ek kalpana thi Nagdi Gang ... jisme apne virodhiyo ko wo automatically Nagdi Gang me shamil kar deta tha. jiska leader Vartmaan samay me Jafar tha aur Nagdi Gang ke members the, Jafar ke dost. Jafar ke laundi patane ke chalte Ved ne uski gang ko Nagdi Gang ka darja diya tha... wo use avval darje ka nagda manta tha.
Garib Gang: Sexy Saahityakar ki Parikalpanao me se ek aur kalpana ka parinaam thi ye Garib Gang. jiska leader wo khud tha aur jiska member main aur is gang me latest entry Ranjan ki hui thi. Usne facebook me group bhi bana rakha tha, Garib Gang ke naam se. hum dono aarthik roop se Jafar se thoda kamjor the... isliye usne gang ka naam Garib Gang rakha tha. Sanjana wo bridge thi, jo is Garib Gang aur Nagdi Gang ko jodne ka karya karti thi... ya fir ye kahu ki... wahi ekmatra kaaran thi, jiske kaaran Sexy Saahityakar ne in do kalpanik Gangs ko janam diya. naa wo Jafar se Set hoti, Naa hee main udas hota aur naa hee ye do gang bante.
“dikha messeges Riya Rose ke... abhi usko line me laata hoon... Ved Sir, ko halke me le le rahe ho tum log, abhi... mere charming personality se waqif nahi ho, lagta hai...”mujhse mobile chheen-ne ki koshish karte hue Ved bola
“arey ye baat nahi hai, actually… maine phone karke use sabkuch kaha tha…”
“tab toh aur badhiya… koyi proof bhi nahi hai uske paas… seedhe deny kar dena, yadi wo ilzaam lagaye toh… aur bolna ki saboot dikhao….”
“main kisi adalat me nahi ja raha, jaha saboot ki avashyakta hogi…. Aur yadi maine aisa kiya toh wo aur naraz ho jayegi…”
“wo toh… wo.. already hai Lord EL Dorado ki kripa se…. lekin is tarah se baat karne ka topic milega, baat aage badhegi aur fir koyi chutiya si harqat kar dena, jaisa tu aksar karta rahta hai… aur fir sorry… fir competitions ki baat kar lena… bas baat khatm… jab tak main hu, tension kyun leta hai… bas kal 100 rs de dena… consulting fees ke taur par. Abeyyyyy, wo Sanjana hai kya….?”
..
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. Lagna chahiye ki launda hai... matlab dum hai launde me aur burchatto ki tarah laar tapkate hue khali nahi baitha rahta din bhar... Jafar Betichod, Jafar Madarchod, Jafar Dayichod....
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Rum screwed everything up.
