Chapter-7: Lord EL DORADO
Update-25
Bas aur kya chahiye tha hume.... Itni thand me, itne lambe safar me. itni subah-subah rum ka milna , ye aise tha… Maano Nivedita Rani ne mera proposal accept kar liya ho… ye aise thaa maano barso tapasya me leen kisi bhakt ko bhagwan ne darshan de diye ho… ye aise tha, maano kisi mutthmanav ko bf ka full collection de diya gaya ho. ab kyunki humare bhagwan ne hume darshan de diya tha… isliye main chay jaisi tuchch chiz ke sanidhya me ek pal bhi kaise rah sakta tha... isliye chay ke pyale ko wahi table par chhod… main Shri EL Dorado ji ke darshan ke liye Ved ke peeche bhaga….
Maine aur Ved ne daba ke hard peg mare aur fir jisne hume wo botal pakdaya tha, use uska haq dekar wapas chalne ke liye taiyar hue….
“ye dekh , Ram Mandir banne ke baad aise dikhega…”ek photo dikhate hue Ved mujhe bola…
“religious content… pelwayega kya bhai…”helmet pahante hue main hasa…
“bhai, Ram Mandir banne ki khushi me Alauddin Khiliji tak nacha hai kal puri raat … wo bhi ek taang me”
“chal baith… nahi toh bike se road par parabolic curve bana dunga, jiski baat ladke college me karte the…”
“sorry yar… mat banana, parabolic curve… bahut dar lagne laga hai ab parabolic curve se… “
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Ab Ranjan aksar ghoomte-ghamte school ke baad use jab bhi time milta humare ghar aa jata… ghar me maine uska naam Ranjan bataya hee nahi, isliye no problem… maine uska naam Ranjan ki bajay Rajan bata diya tha.. taaki yadi by chance kabhi dhokhe me Ranjan bhi nikal jaaye toh correct karke Rajan bolne me jyada dikkat naa aaye aur is tarah ab hum teeno aksar school ke baad videogames khelte, laundiyo ki baat karte…. Ranjan mujhse, Sanjana ke bare me bahut kuch puchhta… shayad Ranjan aur Sanjana ke beech fb me baat-chit hone lagi thi…. Waise ho bhi kyun na… Ranjan sirf naam se badnaam tha , baki toh launda badhia tha.
ab baat niklegi toh door talak jayegi.. Lord EL Dorado se mera naata abhi ka nahi balki school ke dino se hee tha… hua ye tha ki Papa ki 2nd shift thi, isliye wo apne kaam me the aur mom hospital me Sanjana ki maa ko dekhne gayi thi aur idhar mere ghar me..... main , Ved aur Ranjan …. Akele the.. I mean... tikele the…
Us din Hum Videogame bhi khel-khel kar thak chuke the aur ab hume kuch aisa chahiye tha jo humare andar fir se josh bhar de… humne bf dekh kar mutth maarne ka bhi socha… par wo toh sirf 5 minute ke liye josh de sakta tha aur fir 5 minute baad pahle se bhi jyada sust kar deta… isliye hume kuch aisa chahiye tha… jo completely hume charge kar de…
Hum teeno ne milkar kayi ideas soche… jaise ki ghar ke aangan se hee sadak par kisi ko bhi patthar fek ke maarna... fb me ladko ko gariyana, ladkiyo ka chat me Mazak udana... yaa beedi-cigarette peene wale kisi ladke ko call karke ye kahna ki...Gupta ji ne use peete hue dekh liya hai etc.etc. par koyi bhi idea sahi se jam nahi raha tha ki tabhi Ved ne ek aur idea diya…
“condom me paani bhar ke tere bagal wali bhabhi ke ghar me fek dete hai... kya bolta hai...? kya pata josh-josh me chodne ke liye bula le...”
“bulyegi naa... par uska husband bhi rahega hath me lund liye... chutiya, sala....”
....ki tabhi Ved ki nazar kinare table par rakhe hue botal par padi aur uski nazar ka peechha karte hue meri nazar bhi us botal par padi…. Aur hum dono ki nazar ka peechha karte hue Ranjan ki nazar bhi us botal par padi....
“EL Dorado….”Ranjan ne us botal ka naam padha, jo waha rakha hua tha…
“seal khula hai iska…?”Ved ne puchha
“haan shayad.. par last year se rakhi hui hai… kharab ho gayi hogi..”
“chup be.. kharab chize kabhi kharab nahi hoti…”
“fir papa ne kya tere liye rakha hai kya.... ki... ek din Ved Sir aayenge aur jab Videogames khelte-khelte thak jayenge toh wo piyenge… kharab nahi hoti toh papa khali kar chuke hote abhi tak.”
“rum hai wo… isiliye nahi piya … thandi thoda aur badhne de, fir dekhna apne baap ko… ek baar me khatm nahi kar diye toh bolna…”
“bapu maarega… yadi ek boond bhi kam hui toh…”
“ek-ek boond gin ke rakhi hai kya...? jo aise bol raha aur tension mat le... paani mila denge…. Nahi maloom chalega”
“abey plane daru thodi hai wo… uski packing aisi hai ki andar se sirf maal bahar aa sakta hai, bahar se andar kuch jaa nahi sakta…”maine kaha
“mere paas ek idea hai…”Ranjan waahi sofe pe pasarte hue bola “thoda-thoda daru nikal lenge aur fir syringe se paani bhar-bhar ke botal me wapas dal denge…”
Jiske baad Ved meri taraf rakshasi muskan ke sath dekha… ab mere paas unhe rokne ka aur koi kaaran nahi bacha tha, isliye maine unhe nahi roka … kyunki main bhi ek baar aur try karna chahta tha ki aakhir is kadwi chiz ke peechhe log itne pagal kyun hai…
Sab chiz humare khilaf thi… packing se lekar rum peene ka mausam tak…. Lekin hume thandi-garmi se kya lena dena… hume toh sirf josh chahiye tha… isliye humne wahi kiya, jo hume nahi karna chahiye tha….
“bas kar le lawde… kitna piyega…”jab Ved rum se hum teeno ke liye aadha-aadha glass bharne laga toh maine kaha
“nikalne de na… tere baap ka kya jata hai… oh sorry, main bhool gaya... tere hee baap ka toh jaa raha hai…”
Itna bolkar Ved ne fir syringe me paani dala aur packing me syringe ghusa di… usne kayi baar aisa kiya aur fir jab pahle ke tarah botal level par aa gayi toh… wo botal ko ghuma-ghuma kar uska color check karne laga ki… kahi rum ka color kahi se light toh nahi ho gaya…
“yahi fayda hai, rum ka… “bolkar Ved peechhe muda… “maar na lawda... mujhe kya dekh raha hai… lund chusega kya mera”
“aise hee… bina paani ke…?”
“toh paani rakha toh hai table pe… ab kya wo bhi main daal ke du… apne hisab se mila paani, jitna milana hai tujhe…”
“kitna milau…”
“glass full kar le… aur ek saans me naak daba ke pee ja… kadwa lagega…”
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Hum teeno ek hee peg me tan-tana gaye… mere liye toh wo ek peg hee 3-4 peg ke barabar tha… ati kadwa bc… Ved sofe se sarakte hue zameen me aa gaya aur apne dono hath, dono pair hawa me upar uthakar pankhe me lage tej gati se ghoomte hue chhat ko dekhne laga... I mean chhat me lage pankhe ko... aur pankhe ko dekh.. Miraaa ka naam lene laga.
“upar aa na… zameen me kya kar rahaa hai…”main bola
“main zameen se juda hua aadmi hu… tumhari tarah matalabi nahi”Ved bola
“zameen se yaad aaya Mira is samay kiski girlfriend hai…?”
“ek se kaha manegi wo…”Ved ki tarah Ranjan bhi sofe se sarkte hue neeche farsh par gaya… “Bhatti ki friend thi wo… bhatti, kuch bolega nahi…?”
Ved: wo kya bolega… wo toh khud chodna chahta tha Mira ko…
“pure mathematic ki ladkiya meri behan hai…”maine apna paksha rakhte hue kaha…
Ved: Mira bhi…?
“Mira ko kyun beech me laate ho bhai…”
Ved: usko toh kab se beech me lana chah rahe hai… aa hee nahi rahi… ek baar beech me aa jaye… toh nanga karke ek taraf se main aur ek taraf se Ranjan....
“aur main…”mayoos hokar dukhi mann se maine puchha
Ved: tu video record karega… wildlife photographer banna hai tere ko Farhan ki tarah…
“waise 10th me toh Mira ke peechhe tu bhi pada tha na… abhi yaad aaya… fir wo Jafar se set ho gayi thi… lawde, Ved”
“10th me Mira achchhi thi…”apni ungaliyo se V symbol banate hue Ved ne apna dahina hath upar uthaya…..
“haan , bahut achi thi... jo hath tu abhi upar uthaya hai naa.. wo wala hath wo pura andar le leti thi… jhaat . usi samay se chodri thi, bhai”main bhi sofe se sarkte hue neeche farsh me unke baaju me jaa pahucha….
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Why don't we have thoughts like Atharva?
Well the truth comes out only after drinking alcohol,
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. Lagna chahiye ki launda hai... matlab dum hai launde me aur burchatto ki tarah laar tapkate hue khali nahi baitha rahta din bhar... Jafar Betichod, Jafar Madarchod, Jafar Dayichod....
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