★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2025 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Lucifer]

Unfortunately We are facing a server issue which limits most users from posting long posts which is very necessary for USC entries as all of them are above 5-7K words ,we are fixing this issue as I post this but it'll take few days so keeping this in mind the last date of entry thread is increased once again,Entry thread will be closed on 7th May 11:59 PM. And you can still post reviews for best reader's award till 13th May 11:59 PM. Sorry for the inconvenience caused.

You can PM your story to any mod and they'll post it for you.

Note to writers :- Don't try to post long updates instead post it in 2 Or more posts. Thanks. Regards :- Luci

 

[Daredevil420]

"Ek Raat, Ek Hatya, aur Ek Raaz" by Daredevil420

Suspenseful murder mystery hai jo Delhi ke Chanakyapuri ke ek aalishaan ghar mein naye saal ki party ke dauraan ghati hatya ke ird-gird ghoomti hai. Arpita Malhotra ki maut ke raaz ko Inspector Ishan Varma ke zariye suljhaya jata hai jisme kayi suspects aur unke chhupe raaz ek intricate puzzle banate hain. Kahani mein suspense, drama aur human emotions ka mishran hai.

Positive Points:

▪︎ Gripping Suspense aur Plot: Kahani shuru se lekar ant tak reader ko bandhe rakhti hai har suspect ka apna motive aur backstory suspense ko badhata hai jo ek achhi mystery ke liye zaroori hai.

▪︎ Vivid Setting aur Atmosphere: Delhi ki sardi, kohra aur party ka mahaul kahani ko immersive banata hai, scenes ka description aisa hai ki reader wahi maujood mehsoos karta hai.

▪︎ Strong Protagonist: Inspector Ishan Varma ka character sharp, observant aur relatable hai uska har detail pe dhyan dena aur subtle hints pakadna kahani ko aur engaging banata hai.

▪︎ Layered Characters: Riya, Arav, Vivek aur Natasha ke characters ke apne conflicts aur motivations hain jo kahani mein depth add karte hain unka grey morality realistic lagta hai.

Negative Points:

▪︎ Predictable Twists: Kuch plot twists jaise Natasha ka involvement thoda predictable lagta hai jo suspense ko halka kar deta hai.

▪︎ Undeveloped Characters: Natasha aur Vivek ke backstories mein thodi aur depth ki zaroorat thi. Unke motives thoda rushed lagte hain jo emotional impact ko kam karta hai.

▪︎ Climax ka Rush: Ant mein sab raaz ek saath khulne se climax thoda jaldi wrap-up lagta hai thodi aur pacing isse aur impactful bana sakti thi.

▪︎ Minor Plot Holes: Jaise Arpita ka mobile record itni aasani se kaise miss ho gaya yeh thoda unconvincing lagta hai kyunki police ka detail oriented approach dikhaya gaya hai.

Ek Acchi Kahani ke Liye Kya Accha Hai:

▪︎ Engaging Plot: Ek acchi kahani mein suspense aur twists ka balance hona chahiye jo reader ko guess karne pe majboor kare.

▪︎ Well-Developed Characters: Har character ke motives aur emotions ko deeply explore karna chahiye taaki unke actions justified lagein.

▪︎ Atmospheric Setting: Vivid descriptions aur realistic backdrop kahani ko immersive banate hain.

▪︎ Satisfying Climax: Ant mein sab raaz khulne chahiye lekin pacing aisi ho ki woh rushed na lage.

Kya Bura Hai:

▪︎ Overused Tropes: Bar-bar same mystery tropes (jaise ex-lover ya jealous friend) kahani ko repetitive bana sakte hain.

▪︎ Weak Character Arcs: Agar characters ke motives ya backstories shallow hain toh reader connect nahi kar pata.

▪︎ Rushed Ending: Climax mein jaldi-jaldi sab wrap-up karna kahani ke impact ko kam karta hai.

▪︎ Inconsistencies: Chhote plot holes ya logical gaps reader ka dhyan bhatka sakte hain.

Wartani aur Rhythm:

Wartani (spelling) aur grammar mein koi badi galti nahi hai bhasha polished aur flow natural hai. Hindi ke shabd aur English ke mix se kahani modern aur urban feel deti hai. Rhythm shuru mein tezi se badhta hai beech mein suspects ke interrogation ke saath steady rehta hai lekin climax thoda jaldi khatam ho jata hai jisse thodi kami mehsoos hoti hai.

Final Thoughts:

Yeh kahani ek captivating murder mystery hai jo apne suspense aur vivid storytelling ke liye pasand ki jayegi. Inspector Ishan ka sharp investigation aur layered suspects iski taakat hain. Thodi aur character depth aur polished climax isse aur behtar bana sakta tha.​

Aapka dil se shukriya ki aapne iss story ko itni detail se padha aur apni valuable feedback share ki! Aapke points ne na sirf story ki strengths highlight ki, balki improvements ki jagah bhi dikhai, jo ek writer ke liye bahut helpful hai.

**Positive Points ke Liye:**
**Suspense aur Setting:** Delhi ki cold, fog, aur Inspector Ishan ka character aapko pasand aaya, yeh sunke khushi hui! Immersive atmosphere banane ki koshish thi, aur aapne use feel kiya.
**Characters ki Depth:** Riya aur Arav ke conflicts ko "realistic" kehna mujhe satisfying laga. Human emotions ki complexity dikhana hi mera maksad tha.

**Suggestions par Action:**
**Character Development (Natasha/Vivek):** Aapka sahi kehna hai — inke motives aur backstories ko aur expand karke emotional impact badhaya ja sakta hai. Next draft mein inki layers ko aur explore karunga.
**Climax ki Speed:** Ant mein twists thoda jaldi khulne se impact kam hua... agree karta hoon. Aage ke versions mein tension ko slow-release karne ka try karunga.
**Plot Holes (Mobile Record):** Yeh point bahut useful hai! Police ke detail-oriented approach ko dhyaan mein rakhkar iss loophole ko fix karunga.

**Language aur Tone ki Tarif:**
Aapne "Hinglish" mix ko modern feel diya — yeh sunke maza aagaya! Delhi ki urban vibe ko capture karne ki koshish thi.

Ek baar phir thanks aapka ki aapne apna time aur honest diya. Aapki feedback iss story ko aur future ki stories ko bhi better banayegi! Writing journey mein aise meaningful discussions hi toh humein aage le jaate hain.

 

[labia]

labia

Writer labia
Aapki story adultery theme par based hai
Starting achi thi story ki par jab ketu apni hawas ka control kho kar aage badhne ka faisala leta hai tab se kuch jacha nahi
Thoda filmy laga ki sania itna easily maan gayi aur agar aapko sania ko bhi dikhana tha ki usse bhi jism ki bhook hai thoda sa usse bhi dikhana tha .
Sania ka point ko view kam dikhya aapne story mein .
Ketu ko character jyada focus mein laga sania ke mukabale .

Story mein hindi english aur Urdu ke words milte Hain

Story ka Flow kahi kahi gadbada ya hai

Spelling mistake bhi hai Kahi kahi
Ending ke samay jo aakhiri paragraph likha wah bohat accha tha

Overall its a good
Rating 5/10

Thank you for the review... Aapki baat dhyan me rahegi

 

[Aakash.]

"Waqt Ke Us Paar" by Daredevil420

Gripping aur emotionally charged kahani hai jo jang, pyar, vishwas aur redemption ke themes ko ek suspenseful military backdrop mein weave karti hai. Kahani Captain Abeer Rathore aur Zahra Inayat Khan ke rishte ke ird-gird ghoomti hai jisme dono apne apne dard aur sachai ke saath joojh rahe hain. Kahani ka setting Uri aur Kupwara ke thande barf se dhake jungalon mein hain jo intensity aur atmosphere ko aur gehra karta hai.

Positive Points:

▪︎ Strong Emotional Core: Kahani ka dil Abeer aur Zahra ka rishta hai jo dushmani se vishwas aur pyar tak badalta hai. Unke dialogues aur moments jaise Zahra ka "Main ab azaad hoon" ya Abeer ka "Main tumhe khona nahi chahta" dil ko chhoota hai.

▪︎ Vivid Setting aur Atmosphere: Barf, jungalon ki khamoshi aur LOC ka tension kahani ko cinematic feel deta hai har scene ka description jaise “barf ke neele chhatron se chhupa raaz” padhne wale ko wahi le jata hai.

▪︎ Complex Characters: Abeer ka disciplined lekin toota hua soldier persona aur Zahra ka apne past se ladta hua character dono layered hain. Farooq ka menacing presence ek strong antagonist hai.

▪︎ Thematic Depth: Kahani borders, loyalty aur personal freedom ke sawaalon ko uthati hai jo isse sirf ek action story se zyada hai. Zahra ka apne past se mukti pane ka safar inspiring hai.

▪︎ Pacing aur Suspense: Action sequences jaise camp raid aur Zahra ka Farooq se confrontation tezi se chalte hain aur suspense banaye rakhte hain.

Negative Points:

▪︎ Overly Dramatic Moments: Kuch scenes jaise Abeer aur Zahra ke beech ka “ek baar sach ke saath jeena chahti hoon” wala dialogue thoda filmy aur melodramatic lagta hai jo realistic tone ko break karta hai.

▪︎ Predictable Plot Points: Farooq ka zinda hona aur Zahra ka uske saamne jaane ka faisla thoda cliched lagta hai. Yeh twists thodi aur subtlety ke saath likhe ja sakte the.

▪︎ Undeveloped Side Characters: Havaldar Singh, Colonel Rawat jaise characters ka role limited hai aur unki backstory ya depth ki kami mehsoos hoti hai.

▪︎ Language Flow: Kuch jagah sentences thode lambe ya complex ho jate hain jaise “uski saans us thandi hawa mein gungunahat banke ubhar rahi thi” yeh rhythm ko thoda slow kar deta hai.

Ek Acchi Kahani Ke Liye Kya Accha Hai:

▪︎ Relatable Characters: Abeer aur Zahra ke dard aur choices se readers connect karte hain.

▪︎ Balanced Pacing: Action, emotion aur introspection ka mix kahani ko engaging rakhta hai.

▪︎ Strong Visuals: Setting ka detailed description ek immersive experience deta hai.

▪︎ Meaningful Themes: Jang aur pyar ke beech ka conflict kahani ko universal appeal deta hai.

Ek Acchi Kahani Ke Liye Kya Bura Hai:

▪︎ Cliched Tropes: Dushman ka lover ya betrayal wala twist thoda purana lagta hai.

▪︎ Overuse of Drama: Zaroori nahi ki har scene emotionally heavy ho thodi simplicity balance laati hai.

▪︎ Weak Supporting Cast: Side characters ko thodi aur depth dena story ko aur rich karta.

Wartani (Spelling) aur Rhythm:

▪︎ Wartani: Hindi mein spelling consistent hai lekin kuch jagah jaise minor inconsistencies hain yeh noticeable hain par flow ko buri tarah affect nahi karte.

▪︎ Rhythm: Kahani ka flow action aur emotional scenes mein tezi se chalta hai lekin kuch descriptive passages thoda dense hain jo padhne ke rhythm ko slow karte hain. Sentences ko thoda concise karke aur dialogues mein natural flow add karke isse improve kiya ja sakta hai.

Final Thoughts:

Ek dil se likhi gayi kahani hai jo apne strong characters, gripping action aur emotional depth ke saath impress karti hai. Thodi si polishing jaise cliches ko avoid karna, side characters ko develop karna aur language ko aur crisp karna isse aur unforgettable bana sakti hai. Yeh kahani dil aur dimaag dono ko chhooti hai aur ek acchi kahani ke liye yahi sabse badi baat hai.​

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - Ram Aur Laila Ka Pyar
Writer - Laila Ali Khan
Rating - 6.5/10


ek aisi kahani jo do vyaktiyon ke beech anapekshit sambandh ki daasta bayan karti hai, ek shadishuda, khubsurat aur tajurbaat se bhari hui aurat, Laila, aur ek sadharan, naadan gao ka ladka, Ram. Yeh kahani pyar, akelapan, aur jismani zaroorato ke talmel ko dikhati hai, jo iske padhne walon ke man mein ek alag si chhap chhodti hai

Kahani ka sabse mazboot pehlu hai dono kirdaro ke bich ka bhavnatmak aur jismani talmel. Laila Ali Khan ne Laila ke akelapan aur Ram ke naadanpan ko aise joda hai ki padhne wala unke kareeb aane ke safar mein khud ko shaamil mehsoos karta hai. Kitchen ka woh drishya, jahan Laila ek keede se darti hai aur Ram ke sath chipak jati hai, ek turning point hai. Ye ek aisa lamha hai jo dono ke beech ke faasle ko mitata hai aur unke rishte ko naye mod par le jata hai. Is drishya ka vivaran kaafi sundar aur prabhavshali hai, Laila ka Ram ke jism ko mehsoos karna, Ram ka anjaane mein uske kareeb aana, aur dono ka ek doosre ke sparsh mein kho jana, yeh sab kahani ko ek sensual touch deta hai.

Kahani ka end bhi iski ek badi taakat hai. Ram ki maut aur Laila ka uski yaad me apna jeevan badal dena ek aisa tragic twist hai jo padhne wale ke dil ko chhu jata hai. Laila ka apne shohar se talaak lena aur zindagi bhar Ram ke pyar ko yaad rakhna ye dikhata hai ki unka rishta sirf ek lambi raat ka nahi tha, balki ek gehra bhavnatmak bandhan tha. Ye ant kahani ko ek yaadgaar chhap deta hai, jo aksar is tarah ki stories me nahi milta.

itna sab badhiya hone ke baujud kahani me kuch kami bhi hai, Sabse pehle, iski storyline me nayepan ki kami hai. Ek ameer aur akeli aurat aur ek sadharan ladke ke beech ka pyar ya jismani sambandh ek aisi kahani hai jo bar-bar dohrayi jati hai. ha laila ne isme bhavnatmak gehrai jodne ki koshish ki hai, lekin poori tarah se nayi ya alag nahi lagti. Dusra, Ram ka kirdar thoda sa adhoora sa lagta hai. Laila ke jeevan, uske akelapan, aur uski bhavnao ke bare mein hume kaafi kuchh pata chalta hai, lekin Ram ke vichar, uski ichchha ya uske sapne kya hai, ye kahani mein chhupa sa rehta hai. Wo sirf Laila ke pyar ka ek hissa ban kar reh jata hai, jo uske kirdar ko poora hone se rokta hai.

Iske alawa, kahani mein jismani sambandh par zyaada dhyan diya gaya hai, jo kuchh samay baad ek jaise lagne lagte hai. Laila aur Ram ke bhavnatmak rishte ko aur samay aur jagah di jati, toh shayad yeh kahani aur gehri aur dilchasp hoti. Laila ke kirdar me bhi ek kami dikhayi deti hai, wo ek mazboot aurat ke roop me shuru hoti hai, lekin jaise-jaise kahani aage badhti hai, wo apni jismani zaroorato ke aage thodi bebas si lagne lagti hai. Yeh uske kirdar ko ek hi disha mein le jata hai, jo shayad sabhi padhne walon ko pasand na aaye. Bhasha ke mamle mein bhi thodi kami hai, romanised Hindi mein likhi yeh kahani aksar bolchal wali bhasha mein chali jati hai, aur kuchh jagah grammar ki chhoti-chhoti galtiya flow ko todti hai. Thodi si polish ke sath ye aur behtar ho sakti thi.
overall kahani acchi hai lekin thodi aur gehrai aur nayapan ise aur shandar bana sakta tha.

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - meri zindgi ki sabse hasin raat
writer - arib
rating - 6/10

Story ek aam erotic kahani ke format ko follow karti hai jisme Kunal, ek jawan ladka, apni badi maa ke sath chudai ke rishte me ulajh jata hai. Kahani ka plot kaafi predictable hai, jaisa ki is genre ki aksar kahaniyo mein hota hai, lekin isme vivid descriptions aur bold dialogues hain jo ise adult readers ke liye engaging banate hai. Scenes, khas taur par intimate moments, ko kaafi detail se likha gaya hai, jaise badi maa ke roop ka varnan ya physical interactions ka zikr jo is type ke readers ko appeal karta hai. Language simple aur intense hai, Shuruaat me Kunal ka bathroom scene aur uska dar ek thoda si suspense banata hai, aur badi maa ke saath confrontation ka smoothly erotic moments mein badalna kahani ko acchi pace deta hai. Taboo fantasy ka element, jahan ek jawan ladka apne ghar ki aurat ke saath intimate hota hai, is genre ke liye ek bada attraction hai aur ye kahani is fantasy ko pura karti hai.
Lekin, is kahani mein kuch kamiya bhi hain jo isse aur behtar hone se rokti hain. Plot mein koi naya angle ya unexpected twist nahi hai, jo adult forums par dher saari aisi kahaniyo ke beech isse alag banaye. Kunal aur badi maa ke characters ka koi gehra development nahi hai, aur badi maa ka shuruaati gussa se sudden surrender tak jana thoda unrealistic lagta hai. Thodi creative variety ise aur engaging bana sakti thi. Sabse badi dikkat ek scene me consent ka issue hai, jahan Kunal badi maa ke na manne ke bawajood forceful ho jata hai, jo problematic hai. Adult kahaniyo me bhi consent ka dikhna zaroori hai, aur iska absence kahani ke impact ko kam karta hai. Iske alawa, intimate scenes kaafi lambe ha, jo thodi der baad repetitive lagne lagte hai. Thodi editing se kahani ko crisp aur mazedaar kiya ja sakta tha.

dekho ye kahani apne genre ke expectations ko pura karti hai, bold aur vivid scenes, intense dialogues, aur ek taboo fantasy ka maza. Lekin repetitive language, consent ka issue, aur koi unique twist na hona ise yaadgar banne se rokta hai. XF ke readers ke liye ye entertaining hai, lekin thodi polishing ise aur behtar bana sakti thi. Isko mai 6/10 dunga, kyunki ye average se thodi upar hai, par isme wo spark miss hai jo ise dusri kahaniyo se alag kare.

 

[Laila Ali Khan]

Story - Ram Aur Laila Ka Pyar
Writer - Laila Ali Khan
Rating - 6.5/10


ek aisi kahani jo do vyaktiyon ke beech anapekshit sambandh ki daasta bayan karti hai, ek shadishuda, khubsurat aur tajurbaat se bhari hui aurat, Laila, aur ek sadharan, naadan gao ka ladka, Ram. Yeh kahani pyar, akelapan, aur jismani zaroorato ke talmel ko dikhati hai, jo iske padhne walon ke man mein ek alag si chhap chhodti hai

Kahani ka sabse mazboot pehlu hai dono kirdaro ke bich ka bhavnatmak aur jismani talmel. Laila Ali Khan ne Laila ke akelapan aur Ram ke naadanpan ko aise joda hai ki padhne wala unke kareeb aane ke safar mein khud ko shaamil mehsoos karta hai. Kitchen ka woh drishya, jahan Laila ek keede se darti hai aur Ram ke sath chipak jati hai, ek turning point hai. Ye ek aisa lamha hai jo dono ke beech ke faasle ko mitata hai aur unke rishte ko naye mod par le jata hai. Is drishya ka vivaran kaafi sundar aur prabhavshali hai, Laila ka Ram ke jism ko mehsoos karna, Ram ka anjaane mein uske kareeb aana, aur dono ka ek doosre ke sparsh mein kho jana, yeh sab kahani ko ek sensual touch deta hai.

Kahani ka end bhi iski ek badi taakat hai. Ram ki maut aur Laila ka uski yaad me apna jeevan badal dena ek aisa tragic twist hai jo padhne wale ke dil ko chhu jata hai. Laila ka apne shohar se talaak lena aur zindagi bhar Ram ke pyar ko yaad rakhna ye dikhata hai ki unka rishta sirf ek lambi raat ka nahi tha, balki ek gehra bhavnatmak bandhan tha. Ye ant kahani ko ek yaadgaar chhap deta hai, jo aksar is tarah ki stories me nahi milta.

itna sab badhiya hone ke baujud kahani me kuch kami bhi hai, Sabse pehle, iski storyline me nayepan ki kami hai. Ek ameer aur akeli aurat aur ek sadharan ladke ke beech ka pyar ya jismani sambandh ek aisi kahani hai jo bar-bar dohrayi jati hai. ha laila ne isme bhavnatmak gehrai jodne ki koshish ki hai, lekin poori tarah se nayi ya alag nahi lagti. Dusra, Ram ka kirdar thoda sa adhoora sa lagta hai. Laila ke jeevan, uske akelapan, aur uski bhavnao ke bare mein hume kaafi kuchh pata chalta hai, lekin Ram ke vichar, uski ichchha ya uske sapne kya hai, ye kahani mein chhupa sa rehta hai. Wo sirf Laila ke pyar ka ek hissa ban kar reh jata hai, jo uske kirdar ko poora hone se rokta hai.

Iske alawa, kahani mein jismani sambandh par zyaada dhyan diya gaya hai, jo kuchh samay baad ek jaise lagne lagte hai. Laila aur Ram ke bhavnatmak rishte ko aur samay aur jagah di jati, toh shayad yeh kahani aur gehri aur dilchasp hoti. Laila ke kirdar me bhi ek kami dikhayi deti hai, wo ek mazboot aurat ke roop me shuru hoti hai, lekin jaise-jaise kahani aage badhti hai, wo apni jismani zaroorato ke aage thodi bebas si lagne lagti hai. Yeh uske kirdar ko ek hi disha mein le jata hai, jo shayad sabhi padhne walon ko pasand na aaye. Bhasha ke mamle mein bhi thodi kami hai, romanised Hindi mein likhi yeh kahani aksar bolchal wali bhasha mein chali jati hai, aur kuchh jagah grammar ki chhoti-chhoti galtiya flow ko todti hai. Thodi si polish ke sath ye aur behtar ho sakti thi.
overall kahani acchi hai lekin thodi aur gehrai aur nayapan ise aur shandar bana sakta tha.

Shukriya apne boht gherai se meri kahani padhi aur usma apne sundar aur khubsurat vicharo se isko welcome kiya.
main koshish karongi apne jo mujhe disha dekhai ha ek kahani k liye usko aage se apni nazaro ma rakhongi

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - अहसास- ए -जिंदगी
Writer - Chutiyadr
rating - 7.5/10


ek aisi kahani jo jeevan ke gehre aur mahatvapurn ahaaso ko chhuti hai. Rahul ki yatra, jo prem, dhokha, dard, aur aatma-swikriti se guzar kar apne astitva ko samajhne ki koshish karti hai, readers ko apne jeevan ke prati sochne par majboor karti hai. Kahani ki sabse badi taakat uski bhavnaatmak gehrai me hai. Har ahsaas, chahe woh prem ho ya nafrat, gussa ho ya sukoon, bade hi khoobsurati se prastut kiya gaya hai. Yeh padhne wale ko kahani se juda hua mehsoos karata hai aur unhe Rahul ke safar mein apne aap ko dekhne ka avsar deta hai.

Rahul ka vyaktitva vikas kahani ka ek pramukh aakarshan hai. Uska dhokhe aur dard se tut kar Vipassana ke madhyam se khud ko dhundhna aur ek nayi disha mein badhna, prernadayak hai. Ye dikhata hai ki kaise ek vyakti apne dukh aur dard se ubhar kar apne astitva ko phir se paata hai. kahani ki bhasha saaf aur prabhavit karne wali hai, jo kahani ko aur bhi zyada samajhne layak banati hai. kahani ko is tarah se likha hai ki har vaakyaansh reader ke dil ko chhuta hai.

Kahani me Vipassana ka mahatv bhi darshaya gaya hai, jo ek vyakti ko khud se jodne aur andar ki shanti paane mein madad karta hai. Yeh ek aisa pehlu hai jo kahani ko aur bhi gehra banata hai. Halanki, kahani mein kuch characters ki gehraai ki kami mehsoos hoti hai, jaise Neha aur Rohit ke characters ko aur vikas ki gunjaish thi. Samay ki sanrachana kahi-kahi thodi bhramit karti hai, vishesh roop se flashback aur vartaman ke beech ke sandarbh me. Rahul ka sudhar aur uski aatma-swikriti ka safar kabhi-kabhi bahut hi saral aur idealistic lagta hai, jo vastavik jeevan mein itna sahaj nahi hota.

ye ek badhiya kahani hai jo aapko zindagi ke asli mayne samjhane mein madad karegi. Yeh kahani aapko khud se rubaroo karayegi aur aapko apne andar jhaankne ke liye prerit karegi. Isme kuch kamiyo ke bawajood, ye kahani padhne layak hai aur aapke dil ko chhoo jayegi. Main ise 7.5/10 deta hoon. Agar aap ek aisi kahani ki talash mein hain jo aapko jeevan ke vibhinn ahaason ko samajhne aur unhe apnane ki prerna de to ye ek perfect story hai

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - વસંતના ચધામણા એક માં-દીકરાની પ્રેમ કથા
Writer - gujaratitty
Rating -

Bhai mere hindi aur English ka contest hai kaha ye Gujrati me likh diye ab pata nahi ye story rahega ka disqualify hogi, anyway incest story hai ye aur theek thaak likhi hai jitna translate se main samjha, baki dekh lo kya bolte orgasiner. Isse jyada kya review du ispe.

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - दहशत
writer - Raj_sharma
Rating - 8.5/10

ek rahasyamay aur bhayanak kahani hai jo ise padhne wale ko ek aise safar par le jaati hai jaha vastavikta aur kalpana ke beech ki rekha dhundhli ho jaati hai. Kahani centre Prabhas hai, jo apne jeevan me anek ajeeb aur bhayanak ghatnao ka saamna kar raha hai. Uski bachpan ki mangetar Suhashini ki aatma, jo ek durghatna me mar chuki hai, uske jeevan mein wapas aati hai aur uske liye uljhan aur bhay ka kaaran ban jaati hai.

Kahani ki shuruaat se hi suspense aur rahasya ka mahaul bana rehta hai. Tapakta pani, gayab hoti car, aur bhayanak chehre wala auto driver jaisi ghatnaaye reader ko ant tak jode rakhti hai. Raj bhai ne isme characters ki psychological depths ko bhi achhe se darshaya hai, jahan Prabhas ka patan aur uski mansik sthiti ka varnan prabhavshali hai. Uske darr, bechaini, aur badhte huye paagalpan ko khubsurati se darshaya gaya hai, jo kahani ko aur bhi rochak banata hai.

Suhashini ka Prabhas ke prati prem aur uska use vapas paane ka junoon kahani ka ek pramukh paksh hai. Ye prem aur moh ki ek aisi kahani hai jo hadd paar kar jaati hai, aur ye darshata hai ki aatma ka prem kitna gehra aur amar ho sakta hai. Lekin kahani mein kuch kuch bate unclear bhi hai. Kuch ghatnaye aur unke peeche ka karan spasht nahi hai, jo uljhan me daal dete hai. Kya ye sab Prabhas ke dimaag ka khel hai ya sach me koi pretatma uske peeche padi hai, yeh sawal kahani ke dauran reader ke dimaag mein bana rehta hai.

Kuch ghatnaye thodi zyada dramatic lagti hai, jo kahani ke prabhav ko kam karti hai aur end thoda jaldbazi mein niptaya gaya hai aisa lagta hai, jaha Suhashini ke moksh ka varnan aur vistar se kiya ja sakta tha. Ye kahani ek aise safar ki yaad dilati hai jo bhay aur prem ke beech jhoolta rehta hai, aur reader ko sochne par majboor karta hai ki kya sach mein aatma ka prem itna shaktishaali ho sakta hai.

overall ye ek rochak aur bhayanak kahani hai jo reader ko sochne par majboor karti hai. Isme suspense rahasya aur psychological depth ka sundar mel hai. Halaki, kuch kamiyo ke bawajood, ye kahani ek yaadgar anubhav chhod jaati hai.

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - वो खिड़की जो....
Writer - Riky007
Rating - 8.5/10

ek behtarin story jo time travel aur kalpana ki seemao ko chhooti hai. Kahani ka main character Manuv hai, jo apni bua ke ghar ek aisi khidki kholta hai jo use beete kal me le jaati hai. Yaha uski mulaqat Suchita se hoti hai, ek aisi ladki jiske baare me uske daddu aksar baat karte rehte hai.

Kahani ki taqat iske characters me hai. Manuv aur Suchita ke beech ka rishta khoobsurat tareeke se ubharta hai, aur unki chemistry kahani ko aur bhi rochak banati hai. Ramesh Sharma, Manuv ke daddu, ka character bhi kaafi gehrai liye hue hai, aur unka Suchita ke prati lagaav kahani me ek emotional touch deta hai.

scientfic paksh ko bhi kahani mein achhe se samjhaya gaya hai. Wormhole aur time travel ke concepts ko simple bhasha me bataya gaya hai, jo kahani ko aur bhi vishwasniya banata hai. Suspense aur mystery bhi kahani ka ek abhinn hissa hai, jo readers ko ant tak bandhe rakhta hai.

Haan, kahani mein kuch kamiya bhi hai. Kuch jagah plot thoda predictable lagta hai, aur kuch plot points ko aur achhe se explain kiya ja sakta tha. Ending thodi rushed lagti hai, aur kuch sawalon ke jawab adhure reh jaate hain. Bhasha aur shaili kabhi-kabhi technical terms ke karan thodi kathin ho sakti hai,(main bhi kya bol raha jisne khud ki kahani me bhar bhar ke technical terms dale hai ) jo kuch readers ke liye samajhna mushkil ho sakta hai.

overall ye ek manoranjak aur sochne par majboor karne wali kahani hai. Agar aapko science fiction aur mystery pasand hai, to ye kahani aapke liye hai. Yeh kahani aapko sochne par majboor karegi aur aapke kalpana ke kshitij ko vistarit karegi.