Update-34
“Jafar, Gupta ki class hai…. Pelega yadi late hua tha…”
“toh…? mujhe us-se kya… waha toh pelayega hee, yaha bhi pelayega”
“abey hat na saamne se….”Jafar ko kinare karke main aage badha par Jafar ne peechhe se achanak mera shirt daboch liya aur shirt naa fate is dar se mujhe rukna pada....
“bahut smart banta hai tu…”wo bola aur shirt pakadkar hee mujhe peechhe kheechne laga... shirt naa fat jaye , isliye main peechhe aane laga.. ye shirt isi saal li thi maine. Baapu dusara nahi kharidega yadi fat gayi toh...
“abey teri problem kya hai… mujhse…”jab Jafar ne shirt kheechna band kiya toh peechhe palat kar main jhallaya
“problem ye hai ki, lawda tu kuch din se Sanjana ke kuch jyada hee close nahi ho raha…? girlfriend meri hai wo par uski mom ke liye donation campaign tu chala raha hai… girlfriend meri hai, par raat-raat ko us-se milne tu jaata hai... sach bata... use chodna chahta hai na..? uski maa ki bimari ka sahara lekar…”
“apna ilaaj kara tu aur yadi ilaaz ke liye paise kam padenge toh mujhe bata dena, tere liye bhi donation campaign chalaa dunga… ab chhod”
“aukaat me rah , tu… sale bhatti… jitna bada tera ghar hain na , utna bada mere ghar ka sirf bathroom hai…”
“haan toh , mere ghar me teri tarah 20-20 aadmi nahi rahte hai, family planning bhi koyi chiz hoti hai aur … aur… government quarter aise hee hote hai, jaise mera ghar hai. teri tarah kirane ki dukan me baithkar gaand dhone wala saboon nahi bechta main…”
Mujhe ye nahi kahna chahiye tha, maine Jafar par personal attack kar diya tha. Waise shuruat usne ki thi, par maine ise bahut aage badha diya tha. Mera irada bilkul aisa nahi tha… bas jald se jald class pahuchne ki tension me aur Gupta ji ke dar ke kaaran mere mann me jo aaya maine bol diya par tab tak Jafar par iska asar ho chuka tha…. teer kamaan se nikal chuka tha, isliye lakshya bhed toh hona hee tha aur wo hua bhi
“dobaraaa…”Jafar ne dono hatho se mujhe dhakka diya aur main peechhe deewar se buri tarah takraya…
“dobara, mere family aur dhandhe ke bare me kuch mat bolna… chori karke nahi khate hai, khud ka business hai… khud se kama ke khate hai…”mere paas aakar Jafar chillaya
Jab Chillate hue Jafar mere paas aaya toh maine uski gardan ko turant dono hath se dabocha aur puri taqat se maine bhi use dhakka diya… jiske kaaran pahle toh peechhe hote hue wo ladkhadayaa aur fir ladkhadate hue jor se neeche gira…
“toh tu bhi meri family ke bare me kuch mat bolna …. Mera baap bhi kama ke khilata hai, chori nahi karta…”
Jafar ke girne se tez aawaz hui thi jiske karan agal-bagal ke class ke kuch ladke-ladkiya, jo lunch ke baad class me ghus gaye the… wo baahar aane lage. Jafar neeche pade-pade rakt tapt aankho se mujhe sirf ghoorta raha aur main apna shirt, tie sahi karte hue, apne kandhe ki haddi ko sahlate hue waha se apne class ki taraf badha, jaha …Gupta ji class me dastak de chuke the. Acha hua, jo humari class door thi. Warna kahi Gupta ji baahar nikal gaye hote toh.. mujhe aur Jafar ko yahi se neeche ground me fek dete...
“may I come in… sir”
“come in…”
“ sorry sir… late ho gaya” dono shoulder hilate-dulate main class me ghusa… “ kitna jor se deewar me dhakka diya hai, BC…. Maano Haddi toot gayi ho, utna dard ho raha hai... Mammi ko kya bataunga... jab wo haldi-namak se sekayi karengi toh...... bol dunga ... ki Ved dhakka de diya tha seedhi me.... fir Ved ki pelayi hogi, uske ghar me... maza aayega...”
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Gupta ji jo apna alag sa register bana ke rakhte the, unhone pahle usme sabka attendance liya aur fir apna pravachan chalu kiya….
“ye Metallurgy wala chapter aap log class 8th me padh chuke hai, isliye ye main nahi padhunga... next chapter... S-block Elements... ye aap log class 9th me padh chuke hai, ise bhi main nahi padhaunga.... next. Next me hai p-block element ise bhi mota-mota class 9th me padh chuke ho... isliye ise bhi khud se padh lena.. main nahi padhaunga... agla.. arey isko bhi toh 10th me padh chuke ho.... is tarah se tum logo ka chemistry syllabus pura hua aur parso test lunga, pure chemistry ka.. jisme 11th ki chemistry ke bhi question rahenge... test 20 number ka hoga aur Jo bhi 20 number se kam paaya. Aadha number bhi kam paaya toh soch lena.... ki uska kya hashra hoga.... any doubt...?”
2 minute me gupta ji ne chemistry ka pura syllabus complete kar diya , jise sunkar hee humari fat ke chauraha ho gayi... matlab.. kuch bhi behanchod... uske baad puchhta alag se hai ki... any doubt...? bhosdike.. padhaya hee kya hai tune, jo doubt rahega...
“abey bologe... kisi ko koyi prashn puchhna hai ya nahi...”
Puri class ki ab bhi fati padi thi... 2 minute me syllabus khatm hone ke kaaran.. ulta parso test. Upar se 11th ki bhi chemistry ke question, upar se 20 me se 20 bhi paana tha... isliye sab shocked the aur abki baar bhi kisi ne koyi jawab nahi diya....
“mar gaye kya saalo. Muh me chhed nahi hai kya.”
“yessss sir.... humara matlab no sir... no doubt”aadhe se adhik students baukhlate hue bole... koyi aage bola, toh koyi peechhe aur jo bilkul hee chhoot gaye the, wo baad me alag-alag se bole...
“ rhythm kaha hai...? ek sath bolna hai sabko. Aise yuddh karoge seema par... waha order milne par ek sath taal me taal, sur me sur mila kar firing karni padti hai.. aur ek tum log ho, saale septic tank saaf karne aate ho. maine yaha itni mehnat se pure school me sabse pahle apne subject ka syllabus khatm kar diya aur tum log ek sath bol tak nahi paa rahe ho... ekdum napunshak ho gaye kaa be... tum log seekhte kyun nahi ho … abhi seekh jao, ki 24*7 hume koyi dekh raha hai, bhale hee chahe koyi dekhe ya na dekhe… so bhi rahe ho toh, mind active rahna chahiye… sapne me bhi yadi koyi tumse kisi question ka answer ya fir answer ka question puchhe toh khatt se jawab nikalna chahiye. ye koshish karo ki sapne me bhi tumse koyi galti na ho aur yadi abhi ye sikh gaye toh fir bhavishya me tumse koyi galti nahi hogi…. Meri tarah kab banoge tum log”Corundum ko condom bolne pe us din Gupta ji ne jis ladke ko pela tha , uski taraf dekh kar muskurate hue bole… “kyun jiii… corundum… bahut hasi aa rahi thi us din…”
“madhaaarchod, pahle pel diya aur ab hans raha hai…”us ladke ne mann me bola…
aur us ladke ke mann ki baat mujhe kaise pata….? Aissseeeee…. 2 point… chalo, fir se chadha lo apne upar. bataya toh tha ki ye mujhe isliye pata hai kyunki yadi main uski jagah hota toh main bhi us samay yahi sochta… same concept… matlab khud ko uski jagah rakh ke dekho… khair Gupta ji ne bolna jaari rakha…
“kyun ji Arman , thik bol raha hoon na.... arey nahi... Arman nahi... Atharva... kyun ji Atharva... kya shabd bola tha tumne aaj hotel me... Sitiya-baji... jo Government school ke ladke karte hai bus stand me..?”
Maine haan me sar hilaya par tab tak kuch log hans pade the... jiski shuruat saamne baithi ladkiyo ne ki thi... hasne ki vajah shayad ye thi ki Gupta ji ne mera naam ki bajay khud ko pelne waale ka naam le liya tha... aur saari class bas isi baat par has padi... sabse jyada khi-khi saamne baithi ladkiya kar rahi thi...
“kya khi-khi re.. kya khii-khii...... chutiya ho gayi ho kya...”
Gupta ji ke muh se apne liye chutiya shabd sunte hee ladkiyo ki ulti saans chalne lagi aur wo sab ekdum se ekpal me shaant ho gayi... khair Gupta ji ne bolna chaalu rakha. Waise bhi syllabus khatm ho gaya tha toh, jab tak Sunayana mam nahi aati, tab tak Gupta ji prakop hume har roj lagatar do periods jhelna tha.
“aur kuch log toh aise bhi hai, jinhe Saxsena sir… itna importance dete hai… jo bachpan se is school me padh rahe hai aur khud ko itna hoshiyaar samajhte hai ki prayer me hee so jaate hai aur sochte hai ki unhe koyi nahi dekh raha…. Lekin wo nahi jaante ki meri nazar har samay, har pal unpar hee rahti hai… Bhagwan Das Gupta aise hee thodi naam hai mera… ek baar me ek hazar ladko par nazar rakh sakta hu main…. Kyun jiii Atharva, bhaiya… sahi bol raha hu na…”
“yes sir… sorry sir…”khade hokar maine apna sar jhuka liya
“baith ja… birthday hai toh baksh diya….”
“birthday…. Kiska birthday… ? Atharva ka.... wo toh last month tha kya… sir ?, isne shayad aapko jhooth bola hai.. aaj iska birthday nahi hai...”Gupta ke saamne baithe ek ladke ne turant kaha.. pata nahi saale ki kaun si dushmani thi... bhosdika nagdi gang ka member hoga.
“pata hai , mujhe… itna ullu nahi hu main… lunch ke baad jakar records me dekh liya tha… par lunch me, jab tum sab apne maaa-baap ka paisa idhar-udhar haha-hihi-huhu karne me barbaad kar rahe the toh ye mujhse directly milkar indirectly apologize kiya… jo ki aaj tak tum me se kisi ne kahi kiya… “apni chair me hee sawar Gupta ji ne wahi se saamne baithe ladke ka baal pakda aur use kheench kar bench se neeche gira diya
“chal... khade ho...… bahut jaanta hai ki kiska birthday kab hai.. hai na… chal khade ho aur page number 69 shuru se batana chalu kar… Bhagwan Das ke saamne gundayi... saale ghaas chhilne wale barda... koyi tujhe apne ghar me goo saaf karne ke kaam bhi me nahi rakhega. ”