curious1964
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Aarav: Main kuchh mangu aap se?
Uski garam saansein meri kaano pe mehsoos hui, ye ehsaas kuchh alag hi tha, meri romaen khadi ho gayi thi, pairon se sar tak mujhe gudgudi ho rahi thi, main isse shabdon mein bayan nahi kar pa rahi hu aisa ehsaas tha.
Main: Aarav...
Aarav: Maa!
Main: Umm!
Aarav: Main kuchh maangna chahta hun aap se.
Main: Haan, maango na... Maango
Aarav: Aaj...
Main: Umm... bolo na...
Aarav: Main...
Main: Umm... bolo Aarav.
Aarav: Main aap ke saath sona chahta hu.
Meri aankhein ekdum se hairaani mein badi ho gayi. Aarav... abhi abhi mujhe kya kaha? Kya maine sahi suna? Aarav... mera Aarav mere saath sona chahta hai? Usne meri kaano mein itni garmi ke saath bola ki meri dhadkan jaise abhi ruk jayegi. Badan mein kuchh aisa ajeeb sa hua ki main khud samajh nahi paayi.
Ab main Aarav ko jawab du? Main sach kahu to dar gayi kyunki car mein meri maa thi, Nina thi aur Ankur saamne drive kar raha tha. Agar kisi ne ye sun liya ho to... to...
Maine saamne dekha jaha Ankur drive kar raha tha. Thank God, Ankur ne kuchh nahi suna, aur meri maa aur Nina bhi so chuke the car mein. Par... par Aarav ne abhi abhi mujh se ye kya maang liya?
Main abhi tak hairaan thi, kuchh nahi soch pa rahi thi. Aarav abhi tak aise hi baitha tha mere bilkul kareeb, bilkul paas.
Aarav: Kya hua?
Main: Woh...
Main kya karun? Mujhe kuchh sujh hi nahi aa raha tha. Upar se dhadkanen tej ho rahi thi. Car to chal rahi thi par meri dhadkanen car se zyada gati se chal rahi thi. Kya karu, kya main car se khud ke nikal jaun? Itni sharam aa rahi thi mujhe.
Aarav: Maa!
Aarav mujhe itni gehraai se, itni pyaar se bula raha tha. Main kaise uski pukar ka jawab na du? Par usse kya pata tha ki uski maa uski aise pyaar se 'maa' bulaane pe pighal jaati hai, kuchh ho jaati hai uske aise bulane pe.
Main: Aarav!
Ek to car mein sab the isliye dheemi awaaz mein hi baat ho rahi thi, aur ab to meri awaaz thar-thara bhi rahi thi.
Aarav: Boliye?
Aaj mere Aarav ko kya ho gaya? Woh mujhse bilkul waise hi baat kar raha tha jaise main chahti hoon. Par Aarav mere saath sona chahta hai. Main kya jawab du uska?
Aarav: Maa!
Isi beech Aarav ne phir se mujhe pukara. Kab samajh aayega mere Aarav ko ki woh jab mujhe iss shabd se bulaata hai to... to main pagal ho jaati hun, mujhe kuchh hone lagti hai, main... main pighalne lagti hun.
Kaash iss car mein sirf Aarav aur main akele hote, to main... main uske seene mein jhapat jaati aur... aur...
Maine Aarav ko dekha. Dheemi roshni mein uski aankhein chamak rahi thi. Itna paas hai woh ki uski khushbu mujhe mehsoos ho rahi thi, aur... aur uski aankhon mein mujhe aaj meri maut dikhai di.
Main: Aa... Aarav!
Aarav: Maa?
Maine Aarav ke haath thaam liya thodi kas ke thaam liya, jaise ki woh hi meri eklauta sahara ho. Maine bahut hi dheere se usse boli. Par jo shabd main usse kehne ja rahi hun woh lafz bolne ke liye mera andar unti takat nahi thi.
Main: Aarav... Aarav tum mere saath sona chahte ho?
Aarav: Haan?
Main: Tumhe mere se yeh hi chahiye, Aarav?
Aarav: Haan?
Maine apni aankhein band kar li. Ab mujhe ek nirnay leni hi hogi, kyunki Aarav mere saath sona chahta hai, yeh hi uski maang hai.
Main (maan mein): Agar tum yeh hi chahte ho Aarav, to... to main aaj tumhe apne aap ko samarpit karungi. Main soungi tumhare saath, Aarav... Aarav luta dungi aaj apna saara pyaar tumpe.
Maine maan mein than liya tha. Maine ek nirnay le liya tha, ab bas kehne ki der thi. Maine dheere se aankhein kholi, Aarav ke aankhon mein dekha aur uske haatho ko kas ke thaam liya. Sharam se main pani-pani ho rahi thi. Na jaane kitni hi tarangein beh gayi meri shareer mein se. Ab main kehne ja rahi hu Aarav ko woh lafz jo ek maa apne bete ko kabhi nahi kehti.
Main: Aarav main... main tumhare saath...
Main kehne ja hi rahi thi 'main tumhare saath soungi', par main pura keh paati usse pehle Aarav ne bola.
Aarav: Bachpan mein jaise aap ke saath soya karta tha, thik waise.
Aur ye sunte hi meri dhadakti hui dil mein ek teer sa chubha. Mujhe bahut dard hua. Meri aankhein nam ho uthi. Maine Aarav ka haath chhod diya, apni nazrein usse fer li aur dusri taraf ghum gayi taki Aarav mere chehre ko dekh na paye, kyunki meri aankhon se aansu nikal aaye the.
Aansoo isliye nikal aaye the kyunki main samjhi thi ki Aarav mere saath sona chahta hai, matlab mujhe pyaar karna chahta hai. Mere aansu isliye nikle kyunki maine jo socha tha, Aarav ne aisa kuchh maanga hi nahi tha mujhse.
Mere aansu isliye nikle kyunki Aarav mere saath sona to chahta tha par apni maa ke saath, Jaanvi ke saath nahi.
Aur meri aankhon se aansu isliye nikle the kyunki... kyunki Aarav ke mere itne paas baithne se, uske kareeb rehne se, uski khushbu ke ehsaas hone se, uski mujhe itni gehraai se 'maa' bulaane se main... main pighal chuki thi, Meri... meri guptang mein se vajra jal nikal chuka tha.
Yahi wajah thi ki meri aankhon ke aansu ruk nahi rahe the. Yahi wajah thi main Aarav se apni nazrein fer li aur dusri taraf ghum gayi. Guptang mein se vajra jal nikal rahi thi aur aankhon se aansu.
Nahi! Nahi, ye koi charam sukh ke aansu nahi the, na hi khushi ke aansu the. Ye aansu dil tootne ke the, ye aansu apne pyaar ko na paane ke the.
Aarav mere saath sirf bachpan ki tarah sona chahta hai, aur main... maine kya kya soch liya tha. Mann hi mann apne aap ko usse samarpit kar chuki thi, par... par usne to aisa kuchh maanga hi nahi rakha.
Maine dil tootne ki gusse mein seat ke leather cover ko zor se pakad liya. Aaj... Aaj mujhe pehli baar apne aap se ghin aa rahi thi.
Aarav: Maa!
Aarav ne meri kandhe pe haath rakh mujhe pukara. Main uski taraf dekhi tak nahi, ulta uske haath ko meri kandhe se hata diya.
Aarav: Maa!
Maine usse thodi door jaake baithi. Aur dusri taraf mukh karke main roye bina awaaz kiye bina halchal kiye, bas Aankhon se aansu hi nikle.
Main (maan mein): Mujhe maa mat kaho Aarav. Main... main ab tumhari maa hone ki layak nahi rahi. Mujhe chhuo mat Aarav... mere itne paas aao mat. Tumhari ye maa ab maa kehne ki layak nahi rahi. Main bas tumhari ek aisi premika ho gayi hun jo... jo apne pyaar ko kabhi nahi paayegi.
Aaj ke din shuruaat to hui thi bahut khushi se par aakhir hui meri dukh, aansu aur glani se. Thodi hi der baad hum ghar bhi pahunch gaye the. Raste mein maine Aarav se koi baat nahi ki. Kya hi bolti usse?
Sabhi car se utar chuke the par main abhi tak car mein baithi thi, aur Nina bhi kyunki woh abhi tak car mein hi so rahi thi.
Meri maa: Arre Nina to yahin so gayi!
Ankur: Main uthaata hun.
Aarav: Main Nina ko le jaata hun uske kamre tak. Raat ho gayi hai aap jaake so jaaye, aur Nani aap bhi.
Ankur: Chalo theek hai bhai. Good night. Car lock kar lena theek se.
Aarav: Theek hai.
Sabhi car se utar gaye. Main abhi tak baithi thi. Ankur utar ke mere paas aaya, window se jhaank kar mujhe pucha.
Ankur: Kya car se nahi utrogi kya? Yaha hi so jaogi? Kiya main bhi yehi aajau?
Kehke usne ek gandi si smile di. Bahut hi bekaar lag raha tha woh. Maine usse koi jawab nahi diya Nahi mujjhe usse baat karne ki iccha thi.
Main bas baithi rahi sharm ke.To ye dekh meri maa mere paas aayi aur puchi.
Meri maa: Kya hua Jaanvi? Car se utarna nahi hai?
Main: Main kuchh der baithti hun yaha. Woh motion sickness ki wajah se thoda sar chakkar aa raha hai bas.
Meri maa: Theek hai, main bhi baithti hun tere saath.
Main: Nahi aap jao. Main abhi aa jaungi.
Meri maa: Chal theek hai. Raat bhar yahi mat baithi rehna.
Meri maa ne pucha mujhe main kyun baithi hun. Ankur ne bhi pucha par mera Aarav usne mujhe kuchh nahi pucha. Maine dekha woh mujhe chhod ke Nina ko apni godi mein utha ke ghar ke andar le gaya.
Aur mera dil aag jaisa jaal utha nina se. haan, Nina se main jal rahi thi kyunki woh Aarav ke baahon mein thi, main nahi.
Maine sit ke leather cover pe apna nakhun gadh diya apne aap ko sambhaalne ke liye. Sab ghar ke andar chale gaye. Main abhi tak car mein baithi thi. Ye kya ho gaya aaj mere saath?
Main (maan mein): Deva... main... kya main ek buri maa hun? Ya fir ek buri aurat? Mujhe nahi pata deva. Mujhe kuchh nahi pata. Main kya karu? Mujhe bas ek hi insaan se pyaar hai woh hai mera apna hi beta, Aarav ke bina main kuchh soch nahi sakti deva. Kyun... Kyun meri bhagya aisi hai? Subah mein kitni khush thi aur ab dekho main... main ro rahi hun, aur... aur kitni roungi main? Kya jeevan bhar? Kya mujhe kabhi apna pyaar nahi milega? Kya mujhe Aarav nahi milega? Kya kabhi main sukhi nahi houngi? Aarav mujhe apni maa hi samajhta hai... shayad usne ye laal Marathi chudidar mein apni maa ko dekhna chahta bas, na ki Jaanvi ko. Maine hi ulta samajh liya hoga. Woh apni maa ke saath sona chahta hai na ki Jaanvi ke saath. Par maine ulta hi soch liya tha... aur... aur...
Maine apni aankhon se aansu pochhe. Yahi meri zindagi ban chuki thi, bas sirf aansu, aur dukh se bhari. Maine dekha Aarav phir se wapas aa raha tha aur meri taraf hi dekhte hue aa raha tha.
Maine jaldi se apne aansu pochhe aur theek se baith gayi. Aarav car ke window tak aaya jaha main baithi thi. Darwaza khola aur haath aage kar ke meri taraf ek tablet aur paani ki bottle di. Maine Aarav ko dekha ki ye tablet kis liye.
Aarav: Lijiye...
Main: .....
Aarav: lijiye tablet lijiye.
Main samajh nahi paayi ki Aarav mujhe tablet kyun de raha hai? Maine sar utha ke usse aise dekha jaise main poochh rahi hun ye kis liye.
Aarav: Motion sickness ho rahi thi na aap ko?
(Yahan pe bata dun motion sickness ka matlab hota hai ki jab vehicle se travel ki wajah se ulti jaisi feeling aati hai, sar ghum jaata hai ise motion sickness kehte hain.)
Main Aarav ko dekhti rahi ek tak. Maine socha tha Aarav ne mujhe poocha nahi tha main car mein kyun baithi hun isliye mujhe bura laga tha. Par Aarav to suna bhi tha aur ilaaj bhi laaya tha.
Aarav: Lijiye...
Main: Nahi... nahi khaani mujhe.
Aarav: Kyun nahi khaani? Aapko sickness ho rahi thi na?
Main: Ho rahi thi ab nahi.
Aarav: Fir bhi kha lijiye.
Main: Mujhe nahi khaani...
Pata nahi kyun par main jid pe aagye thi. Aarav ye dekh ekdum se mere paas baith gaya aur bahut hi pyaar se bola.
Aarav: Kya hua aapko?
Main: Mujhe kya hoga?
Aarav: Kuchh nahi hua?
Main: Nahi!
Aarav: Sach mein?
Main: Haan!
Aarav: To aap aise kyun baat kar rahi ho?
Main: Kaise baat kar rahi hun main?
Aarav: Aisa ki aapko kuchh hua hai.
Main: Aur ye tumhe kaise pata chal raha hai?
Aarav: Mujhe pata chal jaata hai.
Main: Woh kaise bhala?
Aarav: Bas mujhe pata chal jaata hai.
Pata nahi ekdum se phir se mujhe kya hua. Main Aarav ki aur dekhi aur meri awaaz hi dheemi pad gayi.
Main: Tumhe pata chal jaata hai?
Aarav: Haan!
Main: Mere baare mein sab pata hai tumhe?
Aarav: Haan!
Main bas usse sunti rahi, usse dekhti nahi.
Aarav: Aap aaj soyogi mere saath?
Usne phir se mujhe wahi pucha. Par main jaanti thi woh sirf apni maa ke paas sona chahta tha, Jaanvi ke paas nahi. Pata nahi ye baat mujhe thodi gussa dila rahi thi. Main ekdum se uthi aur car se bahar aa gayi. Aarav ko bina kuchh bole main ghar ki taraf chal di. Aarav mujhe jaate hue dekh raha tha.
Maine Aisa isliye kiya kyunki Aarav mere bahut kareeb aa gaya tha, aur main nahi chahti thi ki car mein baith jo huya tha wapas se woh mujhe feel ho, jo thodi der pehle hua tha. Aur ek kaaran bhi thi, main gussa bhi thi. Pata nahi kyun, par thodi si gussa bhi thi.
Main ghar ke andar aayi to dekhi meri maa baithi hi thi. Nina nahi thi, woh apne kamre mein so gayi thi. Ankur bhi apne kamre mein tha.
Meri maa: Sab kuchh theek hai na Jaanvi?
Main: Haan! Theek hi to hai.
Meri maa: Main teri aur jamaai (Ankur) ke baare mein poochh rahi hun.
Main hairaan ho gayi kyunki meri maa nahi jaanti thi ki Ankur kaisa hai mere saath. Par shayad woh hamari behaviour se kuchh andaza laga chuki thi.
Main: Maa!
Maine ek baar socha ki keh du Ankur aur main sirf naam ke pati-patni the. Main agar Ankur ke saath reh rahi hun to uski wajah hai Aarav aur Nina, bas itna hi. Fir Maine socha ye sahi mauka nahi tha baat ko saamne laane ka, isliye main ruk gayi.
Meri maa: Bol.
Meri maa serious dikhai de rahi thi. Woh andaza laga chuki thi ki kuchh gadbad to jarur hai.
Main: Woh...
Aur tabhi Aarav aa gaya aur bola.
Aarav: Aap log abhi tak soye nahi.
Meri maa: Nahi beta, main sone hi ja rahi thi. Tum dono bahar the na isliye jaag rahi thi.
Meri maa ne Aarav ke aate hi topic change kar diya. Shayad woh Aarav ke saamne ye sab baatein nahi karna chahti thi, aur main bhi nahi.
Aarav: Aur aap... aap ko nahi sona?
Usne mujhse poocha.
Main: Hmm.
Meri maa: Main kahan soungi bhai?
Aarav: Nani ye aapki hi to ghar hai. Aap kahin pe so jao. Aap ek kaam karo, aap mere kamre mein so jao.
Meri maa: Achha! Aur tu kahan soyega fir?
Aarav: Mera kya hai, main yaha sofe pe so jaunga.
Sofe ka naam sunte hi mujhe yaad mein aayi ki main bhi to apne kamre mein sofe mein hi soti hu, aur sofe mein neend utni achhi nahi aati. Ulta gardan dukh jaati hai. Main nahi chahti mera beta bhi aise sofe pe soye. Main kuchh kehne ja rahi thi tab tak maa bol padi.
Meri maa: Mera baccha, tu apne kamre mein hi so ja. Main Nina ke paas so jaungi.
Aarav: Mera kamra bada hai Nani. Aap mere kamre mein hi so jao. Mujhe yaha koi problem nahi hogi!
Meri maa: Mera nati kitna bada ho gaya hai,hain na Jaanvi?
Main ek baar Aarav ko dekhi fir maa ki taraf.
Main: Woh to hain.
Meri maa: Bilkul teri tarah dikhta hai Aarav.
Maa ne ye bola hi tha ki main phir se Aarav ke chehre ki taraf dekhi aur Aarav bhi meri taraf dekha. Shayad hum dono ek dusre ko dekh ke ye jaanch rahe the ki hum dono ek jaise dikhte hain?
Meri maa: Ladke agar maa ki tarah dikhte hain to ye achha gun hota hai. Chalo mujhe neend aa rahi hai. Main sone chali. Tum dono bhi so jao ab.
Main: Ji...
Aarav: Good night Nani.
Meri maa: Good night beta.
Fir meri maa Nina ke kamre mein chali gayi sone. Ab living room mein sirf main aur Aarav hi bache the aur dono ek dusre ko hi dekh rahe the. Kisi ko kuchh pata nahi ki saamne wala insaan kya soch raha hai.
Aarav: Aap...
Main: Good night Aarav.
Main ye kehke palat ke apne darwaze tak pahunch gayi thi par tabhi Aarav ne phir se mujhe pukara.
Aarav: Maa!
Aur phir se wahi ehsaas mujhe hua. Meri pair wahi jam gaye. Haath darwaze pe ruki rahi. Main jaanti thi Aarav abhi kya kahega mujhse fir bhi main usse hi sunna chahti thi.
Main: hmm.
Aarav: Aap iss kamre mein sone ja rahi ho?
Main: hmm.
Aarav: Oh!
Main: Kya hua Aarav?
Aarav: Woh...
Main: Hmm bolo.
Aarav: Aap mere saath nahi so rahi?
Main: .....
Maine koi jawab nahi diya. Kya hi jawab deti usko? Main khud hi apne mann ko shaant nahi kar paa rahi thi. Aur shayad Aarav bhi bura maan gaya tha kyunki usne bola.
Aarav: Main chah raha tha ki aaj mere saath soye... bachpan mein jaise soya karti thi... Par It's ok... Good night.
Meri jawab na paake Aarav ko bura laga tha. Main samajh rahi thi. Par main kya karun? Mujhe kuchh sujh nahi raha tha.
Aise hi kuchh der hum bina baat ke wahi khade rahe. Main darwaze ke saamne aur Aarav mere peeche. Dono ko hi apne apne jawab ka intezaar tha. Aur maine koi jawab nahi diya to Aarav bola.
Aarav: Good night maa!
Aur ye kehke Aarav apne kamre mein chala gaya. Main wahi ki wahi khadi reh gayi. Mujhe samajh aa raha tha Aarav bura maan gaya hai. Aur ye baat mere liye bahut dukhdayak thi.
Main (maan mein): Aarav... main... main kya karun? Tum mere saath sona chahte ho bachpan ki tarah... par main... main... Aarav main tumhari maa kehne ki layak nahi rahi ab.
Apne aap ko sambhaal ke main apne kamre mein gayi to dekha Ankur so chuka tha. Main bathroom mein gayi aur pehni hui saree aur angvastra utar diya. Aur meri aankhein meri guptang pe padi jo chipchipi ho rahi thi. Aur meri aankhein nam ho uthi aur bas ek naam hi mere muh se nikla.
Main: Aa... Aarav.
Main (apne aap se): Aarav sirf tumhe ek maa ki se nazar se dekhta hai Jaanvi, sirf maa. Usne apne maa ke saath sona hai aur tum... tum apne guptang ko dekho ye... ye kya kar baithi tum.
Main: Maine... maine bas pyaar kiya Aarav se, bas pyaar kiya.
Main (apne aap se): Aarav ke bas paas hone ki ehsaas se tumhare guptang se vajra jal nikal gaya.
Main: Yahi wajah hai... ki main Aarav ko koi jawab nahi de paayi. Agar main so gayi Aarav ke saath aur fir se mujhe woh ehsaas huya to... to main...!
Main kya karun? Main nahi chahti Aarav mujhe bura maane ya naraaz ho jaaye. Par usse to pata hi nahi ki main... uske paas hone se mujhe kuchh ho jaati hai...
Main paani ki jhapatein mukh pe maari, apne aap ko sambhal ne ke liya. Aur achhe tarah se naha li. Ek ghante se bhi zyada samay deke nahayi thi kyunki car mein meri vajra jal nikal gayi thi. Fir maine ghar waale kapde pahni.
Meri saansein dar rahi thi ki aage kya hone ja raha hai. Kyunki maine soch liya tha ki main... main soungi Aarav ke saath. Woh apni maa ke saath sona chahta hai to wahi sahi. Main uski premika na sahi, maa hi sahi. Aur agar mujhe fir se woh sab mehsoos hua to main chhupane ki koshish karungi. Bhale isse mujhe hi dukh pahunche, par Aarav ki ichcha to puri ho kam se kam. Main nahi soyi uske saath to usse bura lagega aur main ye harjiz nahi chahti thi.
Itne saalon baad to Aarav ab jaake mujhse theek se baat karna shuru kiya hai. Mujhse kuchh maanga hai usne pehli baar. Main inkaar kaise karun use.
Main naha dho ke bahar aayi to dekha Ankur so raha hai aur kharratein maar raha hai. Waise main apne Aarav ke saath kabhi bhi so sakti thi, woh mera beta tha. Par kehte hain na chor ka mann mein tinka.
Maine ghadi dekhi to raat ke 1:30 ho chuke the. Main dheeme kadam aage badhaayi. Dhadkanen tej si so rakhi thi. Main uske kamre tak pahunch gayi aur ek gehri saans chhodi. Darwaza thak-thaka ne ja hi rahi thi par darwaza pehle se hi khula tha.
Main kamre ke andar aayi to sirf uski study table pe ek lamp jal rahi thi. Ye kamra mujhe pehle hi sachi lagti thi kyunki ye Aarav ka kamra tha. Maine sar ghuma ke uski bistar pe dekha to Aarav apni aankhein band karke so raha tha. Usne upar ek T-shirt aur trouser pehan ke so raha tha.
Main dheere se uske sar ke paas baith gayi aur usse apne haathon se sehlaane lagi. Study table ki lamp se halki soft roshni ne raat ki iss andhakaar ko mita diya tha. Wahi roshni Aarav ke chehre pe pad rahi thi. Kamra itna shaant tha ki uski saansein tak ki awaaz mujhe sunai de rahi thi. Kitna pyara lag raha tha woh. Usse sote dekh Meri honthon pe muskaan aa gayi.
Main (maan mein): Main to khud hi khud se dar gayi thi.
Main thodi dar gayi thi kyunki mujhe lag raha tha ki Aarav ke paas hone se agar mujhe fir se wahi uttejna aane lagi to main kya karungi. Par abhi aisa kuchh nahi tha. Mujhe mere maan mein bas shaanti thi, pyaar thi, chahat thi uttejna nahi.
Main hamesha chahti thi ki main aur Aarav iss kamre mein rahein. Bhale hi Aarav ke maan mein mere liye waisa pyaar na ho, par mere dil mein hai na uske liye pyaar. Mera akela ka pyaar hum dono ke liye kaafi hoga.
Kareeb aadhe ghante ho gaye the mujhe Aarav ke kamre mein aaye hue. Main baith ke uske sar ko pyaar se sehla rahi thi. Ab mujhe bhi neend aane lagi. Subah se abhi tak mere saath jo jo hua, sukh dukh jo bhi, ab main thak gayi thi.
Main Aarav ke bistar pe sone ke liye pehle baithne se uthi taki uske paas jaake so jaun. Par jab main bistar se thodi si uthi, turant hi Aarav ne meri haath pakad li. Usne kaafi tight pakad li thi.
Maine jhat se palat ke Aarav ke chehre ko dekha to woh jaag raha tha.
Main: Aarav tum...
Aarav: Aap kaha ja rahi thi?
Main: Main... pehle ye batao tum abhi tak jaag rahe the?
Aarav: Woh...
Main: Bolo...
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Mujhe laga tha... ki tum so gaye hoge. Tum jaag kyun rahe ho?
Aarav: Pehle ye bataiye aap... aap chali ja rahi thi na?
Main: Nahi main to...
Main kuchh kehne ja rahi thi par uss baat ko rok ke ulta hi boli.
Main: Haan main chali ja rahi thi.
Aarav: Kyun... aap aaj yahi so jao.
Main: Um-hm mujhe yaha neend nahi aa rahi. Main apne kamre mein jaa rahi hun.
Main jaane ki natak kar hi rahi thi ki Aarav ne meri kalai ko zor se kheencha aur bistar pe baitha diya.
Main: ahhh!
Aarav: Please...
Main: Kyun?
Aarav: ....
Main: Bolo Aarav.
Aarav: ....
Main: To theek hai main apne kamre mein jaake so jaati hu.
Aarav: Nahi rukiye.
Main: To fir bolo.
Aarav: Woh... aap keh rahi thi ki main... main aap se pehle jaisa ho jau..
Aarav se maine apni janamdin ke gift ke tour pe Aarav ko hi maangi thi. Aarav shayad wahi kar raha tha.
Main: Ohh to maine kaha isliye? Nahi to aise hi rehte?
Aarav: Nahi main...
Main: Hmm bolo... Aur jhoot bolo.
Aarav: nahi... Main... main chahta hun aap yahi so jao.
Main: Tum chahte ho ya Maine tumse maangi thi isliye?
Aarav: Main chahta hu.
Bas aur kya, itna jaanne se hi meri honthon pe muskurahat aa gayi. Mujhe usse yeh hi sunna tha.
Aarav: Aap yahi so jao.
Main: Darwaza to band kar ke aau?
Aarav: Hmm.
Main uthi aur darwaza band kar diya. Aur jaake Aarav ke paas let gayi. Mausam garmi ka tha par AC chal rahi thi isliye kamre mein kaafi thand thi. Aarav ke upar ek chadar thi aur main bhi uske chadar ke andar hi ghus gayi. Chadar aur bhi thi waha, bistar ke kinaare pe hi aur ek chadar thi. Par main Aarav ke chadar mein jaana hi sahi samjhi.
Main ghus gayi uske chadar mein. Chadar hum dono ke hi seene ke neeche tak thi. Aur mera chehra Aarav ke chehre ki taraf, aur uska chehra meri chehre ki taraf. Hum bahut paas bhi nahi the na bahut door. Par faasla itna tha ki hum dono ek dusre ko dekh pa rahe the.
Thodi der pehle hi mujhe neend aa rahi thi par ab manno meri aankhon mein neend hai hi nahi.
Main: Aarav!
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Tum kab se jaag rahe ho?
Aarav: Main to soya hi nahi tha.
Main: Main jab tumhare kamre mein aayi tab bhi jaag rahe the?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: To tum so ne ki natak kar rahe the?
Aarav: Woh...
Main: Bolo na Aarav... Sach batao.
Aarav: Aap mera sar ko sehla rahi thi to... to mujhe achha lag raha tha isliye.
Mere chehre pe muskaan aa gayi. Pata nahi kyun par main apne aap ko Aarav ke aur paas le aayi, aur meri awaaz bhi dheemi ho gayi.
Main: Main jab tumhare paas rehti hu tab... kya tab tumhe achha lagta hai?
Aarav: Haan.
Main uske aur paas gayi, uske aankhon mein dekhte hue. Bas usse uski aankhon mein hi dekh rahi thi.
Aarav: Mujhe laga tha aap nahi aayengi.
Main: Kaise nahi aati? Tumne jo maangi thi.
Mujhe kuchh ajeeb sa feel ho raha tha. Kuchh aisa ehsaas jo main iss ehsaas se dar rahi thi. Iss ehsaas ko chhupane ki koshish kar rahi thi.
Par kehte hain na jo chiz chhupao woh utni hi ubhar ke bahar aati hai. Waisa hi ho raha tha. Meri saansein gehri ho rahi thi jis wajah se meri stan upar neeche ho rahi thi. Maine dekha... maine dekha ki Aarav ki aankhein sirf meri aankhon pe thi, kahi aur nahi. Aur ye baat mujhe aur pagal kar rahi thi.
Chadar ke neeche meri pair ek baar ke liye Aarav ke pair se touch hua aur... aur meri dhadkanen wapas wahi tej gati se daud padi.
Hum baatein to kar rahe the par ab... ab nahi. Ab bas khamoshi thi dono mein. Bas aankhon se hi baatein ho rahi thi. Aarav mere itne kareeb tha to mein sharma to gayi thi par kuchh tha aisa jo main apni aankhein usse hata nahi pa rahi thi.
Agar aur der hui to main apne aap ko kho dungi. Mujhe sambhaalna hoga apne aap ko. Par aaj jaise sab kuchh alag hi ho raha tha. Kyunki main jab soch hi rahi thi ki apne aap ko rok ke rakhi thi, tabhi maine dekhi Aarav ke honthon khule kuchh kehne ke liye.
Main (maan mein): Nahi... nahi maa mat bolna. Mujhe mat pukaro na, Nahi to...
Aarav: Maa!
Dhak-dhak! karke mujhe meri hi dhadkanen zor se sunai di. Usne meri aankhon mein dekh ke ye kaha. Mujhe pukara. Uski awaaz mein wahi narmi, wahi pyaar tha. Aur main jis chiz ke liye dar rahi thi, wahi ho gayi mujhse.
Usne mujhe pukar liya aur main apne aap ko rok nahi paayi. Main Aarav ke ekdum paas uske seene ke upar sar rakh ke uske baahon mein dhel gayi. Use maine kas ke jakad liya aur apne gaalon se uske seene ke upar ragadne lagi.
Main: Aarav... ohhh Aarav...
Aarav: Maa!
Main: Aarav... hummm-uhmmm.
Aarav: Maa!
Maine Aarav ke seene pe do-do chummiya kar diye. Main chatpataane lagi Aarav ke seene mein. Apni saansein uske seene mein chhodti rahi.
Main: Mera Aarav... mera Aarav.
Aarav: Maa!
Main: Aarav... Aarav mujhe pakdo na... Mujhe apne seene mein ghus lo... please Aarav...
Aarav ne bhi wahi kiya. Usne mujhe pakad hi liya. Mere pith mein haath daal ke usne bhi mujhe pakad liya aur mujhe... mujhe bahut zor se apne upar lapet liya. Ye ehsaas mujhe pagal kar gayi thi.
Main uske seene mein kisi tadapti hui machhli ki tarah ho rahi thi. Aur Aarav hai woh machhuara jo mujh machhli ko pakad raha tha, usse shaant kara raha tha.
Ek hi kamre mein, ek hi chhat ke neeche, ek hi bistar pe aur to aur ek hi chadar ke andar main aur Aarav the. na jaane main iss ehsaas ko kab se mehsoos karna chahti thi Aarav se.
Aarav bhi mujhe pakad rakha tha. Aur Mera stan uske seene ke thik neeche dab rahi thi. Kaafi der baad main apne aap ko sambhaal payi.
Aarav ne meri sar ko sehlate hue pucha.
Aarav: Kya hua aapko aaj?
Main padi rahi uske seene mein, Saansein meri ab bhi gehri thi.
Main: Pata nahi Aarav... mujhe kuchh pata nahi.
Main apna chehra uske seene mein ragad rahi thi. Aarav ne meri dono gaalon ko pakda aur mujhe upar thik uske chehre ke saamne la aaya. Usne meri gaalon ko aise hi pakde rakha aur bola.
Aarav: Aaj aap bahut pyari lag rahi thi pata hai aapko?
Main: Kya... kya sach mein?
Aarav: Haan!
Main: Mujhe kaise pata chalegi? Tumne meri tareef hi nahi ki.
Aarav: Abhi to tareef kar di na.
Main: Um-hm tum jhoothi tareef karte ho, Main...
Main kuchh bolne ja rahi thi par Aarav ne mujhe bolne nahi diya, usne meri gaalo ko dono taraf se dheere-dheere daba diya, mujhe aisa laga jaise woh meri gaalo ke sath dekh raha ho.
Main: Ummm ye kya kar rahe ho.
Aarav: Aap sach mein bahut cute ho.
Main: Ummm.
Aarav: Aap ki janamdin aaj achhi gayi na?
Main: ummm.
Aarav: Aap khush ho na, maa?
Main: ummm... Aarav.. main tumse kuchh poochhun?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: Woh... tumhe mujhe aaj laal Marathi chudidar pehnane kyun bola?
Aarav meri gaalon ko apne dono haathon se pakde hue tha. Par meri iss sawal pe usne apna haath hata lena chaha. Par maine usse aisa nahi karne diya. Maine turant hi uske haathon ko pakad ke wapas apne gaalo ke upar rakh diya. Par Aarav chup raha.
Main: Bolo na
Aarav: Kya main nahi dekh sakta aapko chudidar mein?
Maine Aarav ke haathon ko apne gaalo pe daba liya kyunki ye pal, uske haath mere gaalo pe, ye sab mujhe achhi lag rahi thi.
Main: Aarav... Aarav tumhe pata hai na ki hamare mein sirf ek pati hi apne patni ko laal chudidar pehnane ko bol sakta hai.
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Aur koi beta apni maa ko laal chudidar pehnane ke nahi bol sakte, na hi dekh sakte.
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Tum... tumhe ye sab pata tha na?
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: To... to tumne mujhse ye kyun pehen ne bola tha?
Aarav chup reh gaya. Main uske haathon ko apne gaalon pe thaame huye uski aankhon dekhti rahi. Uski jawab ka intezaar karti rahi.
Main: Bolo Aarav mm...
Aarav: Kyunki mujhe aapko laal chudidar pehne hue dekhne ki ichcha hui.
Uska jawab ekdum satik aur saaf tha. Usne saaf saaf keh diya tha ki usse mujhe aise dekhne ki ichcha hui. Pata nahi mujhe mera jawab mila ki nahi, par uske iss jawab suun mein aage kuchh poochh nahi paayi.
Aarav: Aap...
Main: Umm.
Aarav: Aap bahut sundar lag rahi thi uss chudidar mein...
Ab sach mein mujhe bahut sharam aa gayi Meri gaal bhi garam ho gayi thi sharam se, aur shayad Aarav ko bhi ye mehsoos ho gaya tha.
Main: Maine... maine woh chudidar tumhare liye hi pehni thi, Aarav.
Aarav: Main kuchh bhi bolunga to aap aise hi pehen logi?
Main: Umm... bol ke dekho ek baar fir kehna.
Fir Aarav mujhe dekhta raha, par kuchh bola nahi.
Main: Aaj ka din mujhe bahut achha laga Aarav.
Aarav: Nani aayi hai isliye?
Main: Nahi... kyunki tum aaj pura din mera saath the isliye...
Raat ab bahut ho gayi thi mujhe pata nahi thi, par aankhein ab bhari ho rahi thi. Main dheere se neeche aayi aur Aarav ke seene pe apna sar rakh diya. Aur aankhein band kar li.
Main: Aarav.
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Aise hi saath rahoge na?
Aarav: Haan!
Fir maine Aarav ko kas ke jakad liya. Uske seene pe apni sar ko adjust karte hue boli.
Main: Good night Aarav!.
Aarav: Good night, maa!
Aarav ne meri sar pe sehlaana shuru kar diya. Aur mujhe bahut hi neend aa gayi thi ab.
Main (maan mein): I love you Aarav.
Aur isi tarah se meri janamdin khatam hui. Thoda sa dukh aur bahut saari khushi ke saath. Main Aarav ke saath so gayi chain se, apne pyaar ke paas.
Behtrin Update ! ! !
Sach kahun toh samuchachay "Birthday series"(5 posts) sabhi ke sabhi ekdam shaandaar raha....
Madam,Aapne jo itne saalon ke purb ghatit hui ghatnayen ko itni achhese yaad karke, uss samay ke emotions ko bahut hi sundar aor dil ko chhun jaane bale tarike se prastut kiye hain ......issiliye Aap ko Ashes Ashes Dhanyabaad !
The very last part so heart touching "........so gayi chain se, apne pyaar ke pass "
Wish You and Your Family, All the Best !
Aarav: Main kuchh mangu aap se?
Uski garam saansein meri kaano pe mehsoos hui, ye ehsaas kuchh alag hi tha, meri romaen khadi ho gayi thi, pairon se sar tak mujhe gudgudi ho rahi thi, main isse shabdon mein bayan nahi kar pa rahi hu aisa ehsaas tha.
Main: Aarav...
Aarav: Maa!
Main: Umm!
Aarav: Main kuchh maangna chahta hun aap se.
Main: Haan, maango na... Maango
Aarav: Aaj...
Main: Umm... bolo na...
Aarav: Main...
Main: Umm... bolo Aarav.
Aarav: Main aap ke saath sona chahta hu.
Meri aankhein ekdum se hairaani mein badi ho gayi. Aarav... abhi abhi mujhe kya kaha? Kya maine sahi suna? Aarav... mera Aarav mere saath sona chahta hai? Usne meri kaano mein itni garmi ke saath bola ki meri dhadkan jaise abhi ruk jayegi. Badan mein kuchh aisa ajeeb sa hua ki main khud samajh nahi paayi.
Ab main Aarav ko jawab du? Main sach kahu to dar gayi kyunki car mein meri maa thi, Nina thi aur Ankur saamne drive kar raha tha. Agar kisi ne ye sun liya ho to... to...
Maine saamne dekha jaha Ankur drive kar raha tha. Thank God, Ankur ne kuchh nahi suna, aur meri maa aur Nina bhi so chuke the car mein. Par... par Aarav ne abhi abhi mujh se ye kya maang liya?
Main abhi tak hairaan thi, kuchh nahi soch pa rahi thi. Aarav abhi tak aise hi baitha tha mere bilkul kareeb, bilkul paas.
Aarav: Kya hua?
Main: Woh...
Main kya karun? Mujhe kuchh sujh hi nahi aa raha tha. Upar se dhadkanen tej ho rahi thi. Car to chal rahi thi par meri dhadkanen car se zyada gati se chal rahi thi. Kya karu, kya main car se khud ke nikal jaun? Itni sharam aa rahi thi mujhe.
Aarav: Maa!
Aarav mujhe itni gehraai se, itni pyaar se bula raha tha. Main kaise uski pukar ka jawab na du? Par usse kya pata tha ki uski maa uski aise pyaar se 'maa' bulaane pe pighal jaati hai, kuchh ho jaati hai uske aise bulane pe.
Main: Aarav!
Ek to car mein sab the isliye dheemi awaaz mein hi baat ho rahi thi, aur ab to meri awaaz thar-thara bhi rahi thi.
Aarav: Boliye?
Aaj mere Aarav ko kya ho gaya? Woh mujhse bilkul waise hi baat kar raha tha jaise main chahti hoon. Par Aarav mere saath sona chahta hai. Main kya jawab du uska?
Aarav: Maa!
Isi beech Aarav ne phir se mujhe pukara. Kab samajh aayega mere Aarav ko ki woh jab mujhe iss shabd se bulaata hai to... to main pagal ho jaati hun, mujhe kuchh hone lagti hai, main... main pighalne lagti hun.
Kaash iss car mein sirf Aarav aur main akele hote, to main... main uske seene mein jhapat jaati aur... aur...
Maine Aarav ko dekha. Dheemi roshni mein uski aankhein chamak rahi thi. Itna paas hai woh ki uski khushbu mujhe mehsoos ho rahi thi, aur... aur uski aankhon mein mujhe aaj meri maut dikhai di.
Main: Aa... Aarav!
Aarav: Maa?
Maine Aarav ke haath thaam liya thodi kas ke thaam liya, jaise ki woh hi meri eklauta sahara ho. Maine bahut hi dheere se usse boli. Par jo shabd main usse kehne ja rahi hun woh lafz bolne ke liye mera andar unti takat nahi thi.
Main: Aarav... Aarav tum mere saath sona chahte ho?
Aarav: Haan?
Main: Tumhe mere se yeh hi chahiye, Aarav?
Aarav: Haan?
Maine apni aankhein band kar li. Ab mujhe ek nirnay leni hi hogi, kyunki Aarav mere saath sona chahta hai, yeh hi uski maang hai.
Main (maan mein): Agar tum yeh hi chahte ho Aarav, to... to main aaj tumhe apne aap ko samarpit karungi. Main soungi tumhare saath, Aarav... Aarav luta dungi aaj apna saara pyaar tumpe.
Maine maan mein than liya tha. Maine ek nirnay le liya tha, ab bas kehne ki der thi. Maine dheere se aankhein kholi, Aarav ke aankhon mein dekha aur uske haatho ko kas ke thaam liya. Sharam se main pani-pani ho rahi thi. Na jaane kitni hi tarangein beh gayi meri shareer mein se. Ab main kehne ja rahi hu Aarav ko woh lafz jo ek maa apne bete ko kabhi nahi kehti.
Main: Aarav main... main tumhare saath...
Main kehne ja hi rahi thi 'main tumhare saath soungi', par main pura keh paati usse pehle Aarav ne bola.
Aarav: Bachpan mein jaise aap ke saath soya karta tha, thik waise.
Aur ye sunte hi meri dhadakti hui dil mein ek teer sa chubha. Mujhe bahut dard hua. Meri aankhein nam ho uthi. Maine Aarav ka haath chhod diya, apni nazrein usse fer li aur dusri taraf ghum gayi taki Aarav mere chehre ko dekh na paye, kyunki meri aankhon se aansu nikal aaye the.
Aansoo isliye nikal aaye the kyunki main samjhi thi ki Aarav mere saath sona chahta hai, matlab mujhe pyaar karna chahta hai. Mere aansu isliye nikle kyunki maine jo socha tha, Aarav ne aisa kuchh maanga hi nahi tha mujhse.
Mere aansu isliye nikle kyunki Aarav mere saath sona to chahta tha par apni maa ke saath, Jaanvi ke saath nahi.
Aur meri aankhon se aansu isliye nikle the kyunki... kyunki Aarav ke mere itne paas baithne se, uske kareeb rehne se, uski khushbu ke ehsaas hone se, uski mujhe itni gehraai se 'maa' bulaane se main... main pighal chuki thi, Meri... meri guptang mein se vajra jal nikal chuka tha.
Yahi wajah thi ki meri aankhon ke aansu ruk nahi rahe the. Yahi wajah thi main Aarav se apni nazrein fer li aur dusri taraf ghum gayi. Guptang mein se vajra jal nikal rahi thi aur aankhon se aansu.
Nahi! Nahi, ye koi charam sukh ke aansu nahi the, na hi khushi ke aansu the. Ye aansu dil tootne ke the, ye aansu apne pyaar ko na paane ke the.
Aarav mere saath sirf bachpan ki tarah sona chahta hai, aur main... maine kya kya soch liya tha. Mann hi mann apne aap ko usse samarpit kar chuki thi, par... par usne to aisa kuchh maanga hi nahi rakha.
Maine dil tootne ki gusse mein seat ke leather cover ko zor se pakad liya. Aaj... Aaj mujhe pehli baar apne aap se ghin aa rahi thi.
Aarav: Maa!
Aarav ne meri kandhe pe haath rakh mujhe pukara. Main uski taraf dekhi tak nahi, ulta uske haath ko meri kandhe se hata diya.
Aarav: Maa!
Maine usse thodi door jaake baithi. Aur dusri taraf mukh karke main roye bina awaaz kiye bina halchal kiye, bas Aankhon se aansu hi nikle.
Main (maan mein): Mujhe maa mat kaho Aarav. Main... main ab tumhari maa hone ki layak nahi rahi. Mujhe chhuo mat Aarav... mere itne paas aao mat. Tumhari ye maa ab maa kehne ki layak nahi rahi. Main bas tumhari ek aisi premika ho gayi hun jo... jo apne pyaar ko kabhi nahi paayegi.
Aaj ke din shuruaat to hui thi bahut khushi se par aakhir hui meri dukh, aansu aur glani se. Thodi hi der baad hum ghar bhi pahunch gaye the. Raste mein maine Aarav se koi baat nahi ki. Kya hi bolti usse?
Sabhi car se utar chuke the par main abhi tak car mein baithi thi, aur Nina bhi kyunki woh abhi tak car mein hi so rahi thi.
Meri maa: Arre Nina to yahin so gayi!
Ankur: Main uthaata hun.
Aarav: Main Nina ko le jaata hun uske kamre tak. Raat ho gayi hai aap jaake so jaaye, aur Nani aap bhi.
Ankur: Chalo theek hai bhai. Good night. Car lock kar lena theek se.
Aarav: Theek hai.
Sabhi car se utar gaye. Main abhi tak baithi thi. Ankur utar ke mere paas aaya, window se jhaank kar mujhe pucha.
Ankur: Kya car se nahi utrogi kya? Yaha hi so jaogi? Kiya main bhi yehi aajau?
Kehke usne ek gandi si smile di. Bahut hi bekaar lag raha tha woh. Maine usse koi jawab nahi diya Nahi mujjhe usse baat karne ki iccha thi.
Main bas baithi rahi sharm ke.To ye dekh meri maa mere paas aayi aur puchi.
Meri maa: Kya hua Jaanvi? Car se utarna nahi hai?
Main: Main kuchh der baithti hun yaha. Woh motion sickness ki wajah se thoda sar chakkar aa raha hai bas.
Meri maa: Theek hai, main bhi baithti hun tere saath.
Main: Nahi aap jao. Main abhi aa jaungi.
Meri maa: Chal theek hai. Raat bhar yahi mat baithi rehna.
Meri maa ne pucha mujhe main kyun baithi hun. Ankur ne bhi pucha par mera Aarav usne mujhe kuchh nahi pucha. Maine dekha woh mujhe chhod ke Nina ko apni godi mein utha ke ghar ke andar le gaya.
Aur mera dil aag jaisa jaal utha nina se. haan, Nina se main jal rahi thi kyunki woh Aarav ke baahon mein thi, main nahi.
Maine sit ke leather cover pe apna nakhun gadh diya apne aap ko sambhaalne ke liye. Sab ghar ke andar chale gaye. Main abhi tak car mein baithi thi. Ye kya ho gaya aaj mere saath?
Main (maan mein): Deva... main... kya main ek buri maa hun? Ya fir ek buri aurat? Mujhe nahi pata deva. Mujhe kuchh nahi pata. Main kya karu? Mujhe bas ek hi insaan se pyaar hai woh hai mera apna hi beta, Aarav ke bina main kuchh soch nahi sakti deva. Kyun... Kyun meri bhagya aisi hai? Subah mein kitni khush thi aur ab dekho main... main ro rahi hun, aur... aur kitni roungi main? Kya jeevan bhar? Kya mujhe kabhi apna pyaar nahi milega? Kya mujhe Aarav nahi milega? Kya kabhi main sukhi nahi houngi? Aarav mujhe apni maa hi samajhta hai... shayad usne ye laal Marathi chudidar mein apni maa ko dekhna chahta bas, na ki Jaanvi ko. Maine hi ulta samajh liya hoga. Woh apni maa ke saath sona chahta hai na ki Jaanvi ke saath. Par maine ulta hi soch liya tha... aur... aur...
Maine apni aankhon se aansu pochhe. Yahi meri zindagi ban chuki thi, bas sirf aansu, aur dukh se bhari. Maine dekha Aarav phir se wapas aa raha tha aur meri taraf hi dekhte hue aa raha tha.
Maine jaldi se apne aansu pochhe aur theek se baith gayi. Aarav car ke window tak aaya jaha main baithi thi. Darwaza khola aur haath aage kar ke meri taraf ek tablet aur paani ki bottle di. Maine Aarav ko dekha ki ye tablet kis liye.
Aarav: Lijiye...
Main: .....
Aarav: lijiye tablet lijiye.
Main samajh nahi paayi ki Aarav mujhe tablet kyun de raha hai? Maine sar utha ke usse aise dekha jaise main poochh rahi hun ye kis liye.
Aarav: Motion sickness ho rahi thi na aap ko?
(Yahan pe bata dun motion sickness ka matlab hota hai ki jab vehicle se travel ki wajah se ulti jaisi feeling aati hai, sar ghum jaata hai ise motion sickness kehte hain.)
Main Aarav ko dekhti rahi ek tak. Maine socha tha Aarav ne mujhe poocha nahi tha main car mein kyun baithi hun isliye mujhe bura laga tha. Par Aarav to suna bhi tha aur ilaaj bhi laaya tha.
Aarav: Lijiye...
Main: Nahi... nahi khaani mujhe.
Aarav: Kyun nahi khaani? Aapko sickness ho rahi thi na?
Main: Ho rahi thi ab nahi.
Aarav: Fir bhi kha lijiye.
Main: Mujhe nahi khaani...
Pata nahi kyun par main jid pe aagye thi. Aarav ye dekh ekdum se mere paas baith gaya aur bahut hi pyaar se bola.
Aarav: Kya hua aapko?
Main: Mujhe kya hoga?
Aarav: Kuchh nahi hua?
Main: Nahi!
Aarav: Sach mein?
Main: Haan!
Aarav: To aap aise kyun baat kar rahi ho?
Main: Kaise baat kar rahi hun main?
Aarav: Aisa ki aapko kuchh hua hai.
Main: Aur ye tumhe kaise pata chal raha hai?
Aarav: Mujhe pata chal jaata hai.
Main: Woh kaise bhala?
Aarav: Bas mujhe pata chal jaata hai.
Pata nahi ekdum se phir se mujhe kya hua. Main Aarav ki aur dekhi aur meri awaaz hi dheemi pad gayi.
Main: Tumhe pata chal jaata hai?
Aarav: Haan!
Main: Mere baare mein sab pata hai tumhe?
Aarav: Haan!
Main bas usse sunti rahi, usse dekhti nahi.
Aarav: Aap aaj soyogi mere saath?
Usne phir se mujhe wahi pucha. Par main jaanti thi woh sirf apni maa ke paas sona chahta tha, Jaanvi ke paas nahi. Pata nahi ye baat mujhe thodi gussa dila rahi thi. Main ekdum se uthi aur car se bahar aa gayi. Aarav ko bina kuchh bole main ghar ki taraf chal di. Aarav mujhe jaate hue dekh raha tha.
Maine Aisa isliye kiya kyunki Aarav mere bahut kareeb aa gaya tha, aur main nahi chahti thi ki car mein baith jo huya tha wapas se woh mujhe feel ho, jo thodi der pehle hua tha. Aur ek kaaran bhi thi, main gussa bhi thi. Pata nahi kyun, par thodi si gussa bhi thi.
Main ghar ke andar aayi to dekhi meri maa baithi hi thi. Nina nahi thi, woh apne kamre mein so gayi thi. Ankur bhi apne kamre mein tha.
Meri maa: Sab kuchh theek hai na Jaanvi?
Main: Haan! Theek hi to hai.
Meri maa: Main teri aur jamaai (Ankur) ke baare mein poochh rahi hun.
Main hairaan ho gayi kyunki meri maa nahi jaanti thi ki Ankur kaisa hai mere saath. Par shayad woh hamari behaviour se kuchh andaza laga chuki thi.
Main: Maa!
Maine ek baar socha ki keh du Ankur aur main sirf naam ke pati-patni the. Main agar Ankur ke saath reh rahi hun to uski wajah hai Aarav aur Nina, bas itna hi. Fir Maine socha ye sahi mauka nahi tha baat ko saamne laane ka, isliye main ruk gayi.
Meri maa: Bol.
Meri maa serious dikhai de rahi thi. Woh andaza laga chuki thi ki kuchh gadbad to jarur hai.
Main: Woh...
Aur tabhi Aarav aa gaya aur bola.
Aarav: Aap log abhi tak soye nahi.
Meri maa: Nahi beta, main sone hi ja rahi thi. Tum dono bahar the na isliye jaag rahi thi.
Meri maa ne Aarav ke aate hi topic change kar diya. Shayad woh Aarav ke saamne ye sab baatein nahi karna chahti thi, aur main bhi nahi.
Aarav: Aur aap... aap ko nahi sona?
Usne mujhse poocha.
Main: Hmm.
Meri maa: Main kahan soungi bhai?
Aarav: Nani ye aapki hi to ghar hai. Aap kahin pe so jao. Aap ek kaam karo, aap mere kamre mein so jao.
Meri maa: Achha! Aur tu kahan soyega fir?
Aarav: Mera kya hai, main yaha sofe pe so jaunga.
Sofe ka naam sunte hi mujhe yaad mein aayi ki main bhi to apne kamre mein sofe mein hi soti hu, aur sofe mein neend utni achhi nahi aati. Ulta gardan dukh jaati hai. Main nahi chahti mera beta bhi aise sofe pe soye. Main kuchh kehne ja rahi thi tab tak maa bol padi.
Meri maa: Mera baccha, tu apne kamre mein hi so ja. Main Nina ke paas so jaungi.
Aarav: Mera kamra bada hai Nani. Aap mere kamre mein hi so jao. Mujhe yaha koi problem nahi hogi!
Meri maa: Mera nati kitna bada ho gaya hai,hain na Jaanvi?
Main ek baar Aarav ko dekhi fir maa ki taraf.
Main: Woh to hain.
Meri maa: Bilkul teri tarah dikhta hai Aarav.
Maa ne ye bola hi tha ki main phir se Aarav ke chehre ki taraf dekhi aur Aarav bhi meri taraf dekha. Shayad hum dono ek dusre ko dekh ke ye jaanch rahe the ki hum dono ek jaise dikhte hain?
Meri maa: Ladke agar maa ki tarah dikhte hain to ye achha gun hota hai. Chalo mujhe neend aa rahi hai. Main sone chali. Tum dono bhi so jao ab.
Main: Ji...
Aarav: Good night Nani.
Meri maa: Good night beta.
Fir meri maa Nina ke kamre mein chali gayi sone. Ab living room mein sirf main aur Aarav hi bache the aur dono ek dusre ko hi dekh rahe the. Kisi ko kuchh pata nahi ki saamne wala insaan kya soch raha hai.
Aarav: Aap...
Main: Good night Aarav.
Main ye kehke palat ke apne darwaze tak pahunch gayi thi par tabhi Aarav ne phir se mujhe pukara.
Aarav: Maa!
Aur phir se wahi ehsaas mujhe hua. Meri pair wahi jam gaye. Haath darwaze pe ruki rahi. Main jaanti thi Aarav abhi kya kahega mujhse fir bhi main usse hi sunna chahti thi.
Main: hmm.
Aarav: Aap iss kamre mein sone ja rahi ho?
Main: hmm.
Aarav: Oh!
Main: Kya hua Aarav?
Aarav: Woh...
Main: Hmm bolo.
Aarav: Aap mere saath nahi so rahi?
Main: .....
Maine koi jawab nahi diya. Kya hi jawab deti usko? Main khud hi apne mann ko shaant nahi kar paa rahi thi. Aur shayad Aarav bhi bura maan gaya tha kyunki usne bola.
Aarav: Main chah raha tha ki aaj mere saath soye... bachpan mein jaise soya karti thi... Par It's ok... Good night.
Meri jawab na paake Aarav ko bura laga tha. Main samajh rahi thi. Par main kya karun? Mujhe kuchh sujh nahi raha tha.
Aise hi kuchh der hum bina baat ke wahi khade rahe. Main darwaze ke saamne aur Aarav mere peeche. Dono ko hi apne apne jawab ka intezaar tha. Aur maine koi jawab nahi diya to Aarav bola.
Aarav: Good night maa!
Aur ye kehke Aarav apne kamre mein chala gaya. Main wahi ki wahi khadi reh gayi. Mujhe samajh aa raha tha Aarav bura maan gaya hai. Aur ye baat mere liye bahut dukhdayak thi.
Main (maan mein): Aarav... main... main kya karun? Tum mere saath sona chahte ho bachpan ki tarah... par main... main... Aarav main tumhari maa kehne ki layak nahi rahi ab.
Apne aap ko sambhaal ke main apne kamre mein gayi to dekha Ankur so chuka tha. Main bathroom mein gayi aur pehni hui saree aur angvastra utar diya. Aur meri aankhein meri guptang pe padi jo chipchipi ho rahi thi. Aur meri aankhein nam ho uthi aur bas ek naam hi mere muh se nikla.
Main: Aa... Aarav.
Main (apne aap se): Aarav sirf tumhe ek maa ki se nazar se dekhta hai Jaanvi, sirf maa. Usne apne maa ke saath sona hai aur tum... tum apne guptang ko dekho ye... ye kya kar baithi tum.
Main: Maine... maine bas pyaar kiya Aarav se, bas pyaar kiya.
Main (apne aap se): Aarav ke bas paas hone ki ehsaas se tumhare guptang se vajra jal nikal gaya.
Main: Yahi wajah hai... ki main Aarav ko koi jawab nahi de paayi. Agar main so gayi Aarav ke saath aur fir se mujhe woh ehsaas huya to... to main...!
Main kya karun? Main nahi chahti Aarav mujhe bura maane ya naraaz ho jaaye. Par usse to pata hi nahi ki main... uske paas hone se mujhe kuchh ho jaati hai...
Main paani ki jhapatein mukh pe maari, apne aap ko sambhal ne ke liya. Aur achhe tarah se naha li. Ek ghante se bhi zyada samay deke nahayi thi kyunki car mein meri vajra jal nikal gayi thi. Fir maine ghar waale kapde pahni.
Meri saansein dar rahi thi ki aage kya hone ja raha hai. Kyunki maine soch liya tha ki main... main soungi Aarav ke saath. Woh apni maa ke saath sona chahta hai to wahi sahi. Main uski premika na sahi, maa hi sahi. Aur agar mujhe fir se woh sab mehsoos hua to main chhupane ki koshish karungi. Bhale isse mujhe hi dukh pahunche, par Aarav ki ichcha to puri ho kam se kam. Main nahi soyi uske saath to usse bura lagega aur main ye harjiz nahi chahti thi.
Itne saalon baad to Aarav ab jaake mujhse theek se baat karna shuru kiya hai. Mujhse kuchh maanga hai usne pehli baar. Main inkaar kaise karun use.
Main naha dho ke bahar aayi to dekha Ankur so raha hai aur kharratein maar raha hai. Waise main apne Aarav ke saath kabhi bhi so sakti thi, woh mera beta tha. Par kehte hain na chor ka mann mein tinka.
Maine ghadi dekhi to raat ke 1:30 ho chuke the. Main dheeme kadam aage badhaayi. Dhadkanen tej si so rakhi thi. Main uske kamre tak pahunch gayi aur ek gehri saans chhodi. Darwaza thak-thaka ne ja hi rahi thi par darwaza pehle se hi khula tha.
Main kamre ke andar aayi to sirf uski study table pe ek lamp jal rahi thi. Ye kamra mujhe pehle hi sachi lagti thi kyunki ye Aarav ka kamra tha. Maine sar ghuma ke uski bistar pe dekha to Aarav apni aankhein band karke so raha tha. Usne upar ek T-shirt aur trouser pehan ke so raha tha.
Main dheere se uske sar ke paas baith gayi aur usse apne haathon se sehlaane lagi. Study table ki lamp se halki soft roshni ne raat ki iss andhakaar ko mita diya tha. Wahi roshni Aarav ke chehre pe pad rahi thi. Kamra itna shaant tha ki uski saansein tak ki awaaz mujhe sunai de rahi thi. Kitna pyara lag raha tha woh. Usse sote dekh Meri honthon pe muskaan aa gayi.
Main (maan mein): Main to khud hi khud se dar gayi thi.
Main thodi dar gayi thi kyunki mujhe lag raha tha ki Aarav ke paas hone se agar mujhe fir se wahi uttejna aane lagi to main kya karungi. Par abhi aisa kuchh nahi tha. Mujhe mere maan mein bas shaanti thi, pyaar thi, chahat thi uttejna nahi.
Main hamesha chahti thi ki main aur Aarav iss kamre mein rahein. Bhale hi Aarav ke maan mein mere liye waisa pyaar na ho, par mere dil mein hai na uske liye pyaar. Mera akela ka pyaar hum dono ke liye kaafi hoga.
Kareeb aadhe ghante ho gaye the mujhe Aarav ke kamre mein aaye hue. Main baith ke uske sar ko pyaar se sehla rahi thi. Ab mujhe bhi neend aane lagi. Subah se abhi tak mere saath jo jo hua, sukh dukh jo bhi, ab main thak gayi thi.
Main Aarav ke bistar pe sone ke liye pehle baithne se uthi taki uske paas jaake so jaun. Par jab main bistar se thodi si uthi, turant hi Aarav ne meri haath pakad li. Usne kaafi tight pakad li thi.
Maine jhat se palat ke Aarav ke chehre ko dekha to woh jaag raha tha.
Main: Aarav tum...
Aarav: Aap kaha ja rahi thi?
Main: Main... pehle ye batao tum abhi tak jaag rahe the?
Aarav: Woh...
Main: Bolo...
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Mujhe laga tha... ki tum so gaye hoge. Tum jaag kyun rahe ho?
Aarav: Pehle ye bataiye aap... aap chali ja rahi thi na?
Main: Nahi main to...
Main kuchh kehne ja rahi thi par uss baat ko rok ke ulta hi boli.
Main: Haan main chali ja rahi thi.
Aarav: Kyun... aap aaj yahi so jao.
Main: Um-hm mujhe yaha neend nahi aa rahi. Main apne kamre mein jaa rahi hun.
Main jaane ki natak kar hi rahi thi ki Aarav ne meri kalai ko zor se kheencha aur bistar pe baitha diya.
Main: ahhh!
Aarav: Please...
Main: Kyun?
Aarav: ....
Main: Bolo Aarav.
Aarav: ....
Main: To theek hai main apne kamre mein jaake so jaati hu.
Aarav: Nahi rukiye.
Main: To fir bolo.
Aarav: Woh... aap keh rahi thi ki main... main aap se pehle jaisa ho jau..
Aarav se maine apni janamdin ke gift ke tour pe Aarav ko hi maangi thi. Aarav shayad wahi kar raha tha.
Main: Ohh to maine kaha isliye? Nahi to aise hi rehte?
Aarav: Nahi main...
Main: Hmm bolo... Aur jhoot bolo.
Aarav: nahi... Main... main chahta hun aap yahi so jao.
Main: Tum chahte ho ya Maine tumse maangi thi isliye?
Aarav: Main chahta hu.
Bas aur kya, itna jaanne se hi meri honthon pe muskurahat aa gayi. Mujhe usse yeh hi sunna tha.
Aarav: Aap yahi so jao.
Main: Darwaza to band kar ke aau?
Aarav: Hmm.
Main uthi aur darwaza band kar diya. Aur jaake Aarav ke paas let gayi. Mausam garmi ka tha par AC chal rahi thi isliye kamre mein kaafi thand thi. Aarav ke upar ek chadar thi aur main bhi uske chadar ke andar hi ghus gayi. Chadar aur bhi thi waha, bistar ke kinaare pe hi aur ek chadar thi. Par main Aarav ke chadar mein jaana hi sahi samjhi.
Main ghus gayi uske chadar mein. Chadar hum dono ke hi seene ke neeche tak thi. Aur mera chehra Aarav ke chehre ki taraf, aur uska chehra meri chehre ki taraf. Hum bahut paas bhi nahi the na bahut door. Par faasla itna tha ki hum dono ek dusre ko dekh pa rahe the.
Thodi der pehle hi mujhe neend aa rahi thi par ab manno meri aankhon mein neend hai hi nahi.
Main: Aarav!
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Tum kab se jaag rahe ho?
Aarav: Main to soya hi nahi tha.
Main: Main jab tumhare kamre mein aayi tab bhi jaag rahe the?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: To tum so ne ki natak kar rahe the?
Aarav: Woh...
Main: Bolo na Aarav... Sach batao.
Aarav: Aap mera sar ko sehla rahi thi to... to mujhe achha lag raha tha isliye.
Mere chehre pe muskaan aa gayi. Pata nahi kyun par main apne aap ko Aarav ke aur paas le aayi, aur meri awaaz bhi dheemi ho gayi.
Main: Main jab tumhare paas rehti hu tab... kya tab tumhe achha lagta hai?
Aarav: Haan.
Main uske aur paas gayi, uske aankhon mein dekhte hue. Bas usse uski aankhon mein hi dekh rahi thi.
Aarav: Mujhe laga tha aap nahi aayengi.
Main: Kaise nahi aati? Tumne jo maangi thi.
Mujhe kuchh ajeeb sa feel ho raha tha. Kuchh aisa ehsaas jo main iss ehsaas se dar rahi thi. Iss ehsaas ko chhupane ki koshish kar rahi thi.
Par kehte hain na jo chiz chhupao woh utni hi ubhar ke bahar aati hai. Waisa hi ho raha tha. Meri saansein gehri ho rahi thi jis wajah se meri stan upar neeche ho rahi thi. Maine dekha... maine dekha ki Aarav ki aankhein sirf meri aankhon pe thi, kahi aur nahi. Aur ye baat mujhe aur pagal kar rahi thi.
Chadar ke neeche meri pair ek baar ke liye Aarav ke pair se touch hua aur... aur meri dhadkanen wapas wahi tej gati se daud padi.
Hum baatein to kar rahe the par ab... ab nahi. Ab bas khamoshi thi dono mein. Bas aankhon se hi baatein ho rahi thi. Aarav mere itne kareeb tha to mein sharma to gayi thi par kuchh tha aisa jo main apni aankhein usse hata nahi pa rahi thi.
Agar aur der hui to main apne aap ko kho dungi. Mujhe sambhaalna hoga apne aap ko. Par aaj jaise sab kuchh alag hi ho raha tha. Kyunki main jab soch hi rahi thi ki apne aap ko rok ke rakhi thi, tabhi maine dekhi Aarav ke honthon khule kuchh kehne ke liye.
Main (maan mein): Nahi... nahi maa mat bolna. Mujhe mat pukaro na, Nahi to...
Aarav: Maa!
Dhak-dhak! karke mujhe meri hi dhadkanen zor se sunai di. Usne meri aankhon mein dekh ke ye kaha. Mujhe pukara. Uski awaaz mein wahi narmi, wahi pyaar tha. Aur main jis chiz ke liye dar rahi thi, wahi ho gayi mujhse.
Usne mujhe pukar liya aur main apne aap ko rok nahi paayi. Main Aarav ke ekdum paas uske seene ke upar sar rakh ke uske baahon mein dhel gayi. Use maine kas ke jakad liya aur apne gaalon se uske seene ke upar ragadne lagi.
Main: Aarav... ohhh Aarav...
Aarav: Maa!
Main: Aarav... hummm-uhmmm.
Aarav: Maa!
Maine Aarav ke seene pe do-do chummiya kar diye. Main chatpataane lagi Aarav ke seene mein. Apni saansein uske seene mein chhodti rahi.
Main: Mera Aarav... mera Aarav.
Aarav: Maa!
Main: Aarav... Aarav mujhe pakdo na... Mujhe apne seene mein ghus lo... please Aarav...
Aarav ne bhi wahi kiya. Usne mujhe pakad hi liya. Mere pith mein haath daal ke usne bhi mujhe pakad liya aur mujhe... mujhe bahut zor se apne upar lapet liya. Ye ehsaas mujhe pagal kar gayi thi.
Main uske seene mein kisi tadapti hui machhli ki tarah ho rahi thi. Aur Aarav hai woh machhuara jo mujh machhli ko pakad raha tha, usse shaant kara raha tha.
Ek hi kamre mein, ek hi chhat ke neeche, ek hi bistar pe aur to aur ek hi chadar ke andar main aur Aarav the. na jaane main iss ehsaas ko kab se mehsoos karna chahti thi Aarav se.
Aarav bhi mujhe pakad rakha tha. Aur Mera stan uske seene ke thik neeche dab rahi thi. Kaafi der baad main apne aap ko sambhaal payi.
Aarav ne meri sar ko sehlate hue pucha.
Aarav: Kya hua aapko aaj?
Main padi rahi uske seene mein, Saansein meri ab bhi gehri thi.
Main: Pata nahi Aarav... mujhe kuchh pata nahi.
Main apna chehra uske seene mein ragad rahi thi. Aarav ne meri dono gaalon ko pakda aur mujhe upar thik uske chehre ke saamne la aaya. Usne meri gaalon ko aise hi pakde rakha aur bola.
Aarav: Aaj aap bahut pyari lag rahi thi pata hai aapko?
Main: Kya... kya sach mein?
Aarav: Haan!
Main: Mujhe kaise pata chalegi? Tumne meri tareef hi nahi ki.
Aarav: Abhi to tareef kar di na.
Main: Um-hm tum jhoothi tareef karte ho, Main...
Main kuchh bolne ja rahi thi par Aarav ne mujhe bolne nahi diya, usne meri gaalo ko dono taraf se dheere-dheere daba diya, mujhe aisa laga jaise woh meri gaalo ke sath dekh raha ho.
Main: Ummm ye kya kar rahe ho.
Aarav: Aap sach mein bahut cute ho.
Main: Ummm.
Aarav: Aap ki janamdin aaj achhi gayi na?
Main: ummm.
Aarav: Aap khush ho na, maa?
Main: ummm... Aarav.. main tumse kuchh poochhun?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: Woh... tumhe mujhe aaj laal Marathi chudidar pehnane kyun bola?
Aarav meri gaalon ko apne dono haathon se pakde hue tha. Par meri iss sawal pe usne apna haath hata lena chaha. Par maine usse aisa nahi karne diya. Maine turant hi uske haathon ko pakad ke wapas apne gaalo ke upar rakh diya. Par Aarav chup raha.
Main: Bolo na
Aarav: Kya main nahi dekh sakta aapko chudidar mein?
Maine Aarav ke haathon ko apne gaalo pe daba liya kyunki ye pal, uske haath mere gaalo pe, ye sab mujhe achhi lag rahi thi.
Main: Aarav... Aarav tumhe pata hai na ki hamare mein sirf ek pati hi apne patni ko laal chudidar pehnane ko bol sakta hai.
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Aur koi beta apni maa ko laal chudidar pehnane ke nahi bol sakte, na hi dekh sakte.
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Tum... tumhe ye sab pata tha na?
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: To... to tumne mujhse ye kyun pehen ne bola tha?
Aarav chup reh gaya. Main uske haathon ko apne gaalon pe thaame huye uski aankhon dekhti rahi. Uski jawab ka intezaar karti rahi.
Main: Bolo Aarav mm...
Aarav: Kyunki mujhe aapko laal chudidar pehne hue dekhne ki ichcha hui.
Uska jawab ekdum satik aur saaf tha. Usne saaf saaf keh diya tha ki usse mujhe aise dekhne ki ichcha hui. Pata nahi mujhe mera jawab mila ki nahi, par uske iss jawab suun mein aage kuchh poochh nahi paayi.
Aarav: Aap...
Main: Umm.
Aarav: Aap bahut sundar lag rahi thi uss chudidar mein...
Ab sach mein mujhe bahut sharam aa gayi Meri gaal bhi garam ho gayi thi sharam se, aur shayad Aarav ko bhi ye mehsoos ho gaya tha.
Main: Maine... maine woh chudidar tumhare liye hi pehni thi, Aarav.
Aarav: Main kuchh bhi bolunga to aap aise hi pehen logi?
Main: Umm... bol ke dekho ek baar fir kehna.
Fir Aarav mujhe dekhta raha, par kuchh bola nahi.
Main: Aaj ka din mujhe bahut achha laga Aarav.
Aarav: Nani aayi hai isliye?
Main: Nahi... kyunki tum aaj pura din mera saath the isliye...
Raat ab bahut ho gayi thi mujhe pata nahi thi, par aankhein ab bhari ho rahi thi. Main dheere se neeche aayi aur Aarav ke seene pe apna sar rakh diya. Aur aankhein band kar li.
Main: Aarav.
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Aise hi saath rahoge na?
Aarav: Haan!
Fir maine Aarav ko kas ke jakad liya. Uske seene pe apni sar ko adjust karte hue boli.
Main: Good night Aarav!.
Aarav: Good night, maa!
Aarav ne meri sar pe sehlaana shuru kar diya. Aur mujhe bahut hi neend aa gayi thi ab.
Main (maan mein): I love you Aarav.
Aur isi tarah se meri janamdin khatam hui. Thoda sa dukh aur bahut saari khushi ke saath. Main Aarav ke saath so gayi chain se, apne pyaar ke paas.
but sadly bohat kuch aisia hai jo Main yeha nahi dikha rahi likhke par woh sab moments abhi tak likhi gaye sab se pyari moment thi but sadly yeha likh nahi sakti 
