Chapter-1: The Proposal
Update-1
Aaj ke din ke baare me sochkar, kal puri raat mujhe neend nahi aayi thi…. main raat bhar bistar par sirf karwate badlta raha… main puri raat subah hone ka besabri se intezaar karta raha, par ab jab subah ho chuki thi toh sochne laga ki subah honi hee nahi chahiye thi. Kyunki aaj jo mai karne wala tha uska asar baad me bahut bhayanak hoga , iska mujhe is waqt koyi andaja tak nahi tha. Khair, subah bhi hui aur main bistar se utha bhi aur maine wo kiya bhi, jiska nateeza bahut bhayanak hone wala tha.
jaise-jaise ghadi ki sui 10 ke karib badh rahi thi, meri dhadkane bhi badhne lagi…. Main had se jyada utsahit bhi tha aur had se jyada hatotsahit bhi. inhi do bhavnao ke mile jule reaction ke karan na toh main nahaya, na hee maine breakfast kiya aur na hee maine apna laptop liya…. Apne flat se office tak ki lagbhag aadhi doori tay karne ke baad maine jab jeb me hath firaya to mujhe dhyan aaya ki mai mobile tak bhool chuka hoon... Isliye mujhe aadhi doori se wapas lautna pada + deo bhi nahi maara tha... Isliye... Wapas to lautna hee tha.
Aur fir finally deo-veo maarke, ghadi me time dekhte hue main bahar aaya aur 10:33 baje maine Interceptor dobara start ki aur office ke liye nikla... kaash ki beech raaste me meri bullet ka petrol khatm ho gaya hota ya fir kahi, kisi mod par tyre puncture ho gaya hota… ya fir mera accident ho gaya hota. Ya NH-6 ka pirate aakar mujhe loot leta. Par aisa kuch nahi hua aur yadi hua bhi hota to main kaise bhi karke… daudte-bhagte… kisi se lift maangkar , auto ke peechhe latak kar aaj office pahuch hee gaya hota.
Main Ericsson ke Indore branch me site manager tha, ya fir ye kahu ki site manager banne wala tha… promotion ka bahut lafda hai is samay… kuch clear hee nahi hai , kaun kya banne wala hai. Par meri utsukta + ghabrahat ka mukhya karan ye nahi tha…. Main lift ke andar aaya...
“ruk be…..main bhi hu…”aawaz mere liye thi.
Jaise hee ye sound mere kaano me padi, is sound ki pitch ne mujhe aabhas karaya ki ye aawaz dene wala mujhse hee kah raha hai. Par maine is aawaj ko aur is aawaj dene wale ko ignore karna hee us samay behtar samjha.
"Rok be... Apne pushpak viman ko... Ved Sir, bhi hai..."Ved ne dobara aawaz maari aur abki mujhe rukna pad gaya... Warna main jald se jald upar nikalne ke vichar me tha...
Pahle toh Ved jaldi-jaldi chal raha tha , par jab usne dekh liya ki maine lift rok di hai toh ab wo dheere-dheere chalne laga… kaan me earphone fasaye, gaana sunte hue, music ki dhun me magan apne kandhe uchkate hue wo ekdum… ekdum dheere-dheere meri taraf aa raha tha… kabhi-kabhi toh wo music ki dhun me do kadam peechhe ho jata aur fir koodkar aage aata aur mujhe hath dikhakar jor se chillata… YOOO…….
Aur had toh tab ho gayi jab wo lift se kuch dus kadam ki doori par ruk-kar waha khadi ek ladki se baat karne laga. Wo bhi tej aawaj me.. jis se kayi baar wo ladki apne kaan me apni ungaliya daalne pe majboor ho jati… Ved ko pata tha ki earphone sirf usne lagaya hua hai aur wo bahut tej aawaj me us ladki se baat kar raha hai. Par fir bhi wo aisa kar raha tha… log jab uski vajah se pareshan hote hai toh use isme param anand ki anubhuti hoti hai. Fir chahe log gusse me use gaali dekar hee kyun na chale jaaye.
Is dauran log aate gaye aur lift me ghuste gaye…. Lift me mauzood pratyek jeevit praani beet rahe har ek second ke sath mujhe ghoore ja rahe the aur jab Ved finally waha pahucha tab tak lift thasa-thas bhar chuki thi…
Jab Ved ne dekha ki lift overload ho chuki hai toh usne achanak se apne baye pair ke ghutne ko jhuk kar pakda aur dabate hue , ek aah ke sath dard bhari aawaz me 50-55 saal ke ek aadmi se bola, jo apni badi tond ke sath already lift me samaya hua tha.
“sir, aap toh young lag rahe hai… aap seedhi se chale jayenge toh mujh apahij ki badi madad hogi…”
“ye pagal, ek toh waise bhi tere karan itni der se ruke hue hai aur ab mujhe seedhiyo se neeche jaane ke liye kah raha hai…”
“neeche nahi upar… ab iske bhi neeche jakar kya pataal lok me ghusoge , uncle…? Aur problem hai pair me… samjha karo…”
“ye bhai, kal tere dahine pair me problem tha, jab mujhe lift se bahar kiya tha aur aaj tere baye pair me problem ho gaya…”lift ke andar khade ek aur aadmi ne kaha….
Jiska nateeza ye hua ki koyi bahar nahi nikla aur Ved ne mujhe bhi pakad kar bahar kheench liya…
“yar... insaniyat naam ki chiz nahi bachi logo me… kuch saal baad insaan bhi nahi bachenge. main yaani ki… swayam Ved sir, is lift ko sakshi maankar lift ke andar samahit tum sabko ye shraap deta hu ki……”
Ved unlogo ko shraap deta uske pahle hee lift waha se upar nikal gayi aur Ved ka shraap adhura rah gaya……
“kal Ballu se teri lunch time pe ladayi kyun hui thi…”seedhiyo se upar chadhte hue maine puchha…
“kon Ballu be…?”
“kitne Ballu se kal teri ladayi hui thi…”
“acha.. wo ballu.. Nagdi gang ka leader… arey kuch nahi…white tiger se panga lega toh yahi hoga na…. wo kal jab tune live show me jaane se inkaar kar diya toh maine us-se puchha…. ki wo live show me mere sath chalega kya…. Toh lawda wo bola ki…
randi jugad de, live show toh main hee dikha dunga… jiske baad maine sirf itna kaha ki…
aaina dekh le. Bas bhadak gaya mere pe..”
“teri toh….”railing pakad kar haste hue main bola… “fir wo kya bola, jab tune use aaina dekhne ke liye kaha toh…”
“hat gandu madarrrrrrrchoddddddddd…… bas ye bola… ladayi thodi hui thi. khair, tera kya chal raha hai aajkal… exhausted lag raha hai… raat bhar ye kiya kya…”mutthi baandhkar dahina hath hilate hue Ved ne puchha…
“aaj soch raha hu ki Nivedita Rani se kah hee du…”upar chadhne ka karya resume karte hue maine kaha…
“oo lodu…. Pela jayega, boss hai teri… samjhaya bhi tha maine tere ko”
“kahe ki boss, main bhi bas Site Manager ban hee jaunga… kuch din me, ya fir kuch hafto me… ya fir kuch mahino me… isme tension lene wali koyi baat nahi…”
“ya fir kuch saal me ya fir kabhi nahi… kyunki jaise hee tu use apna dimag ke tharkipan ke bare me batayega… wo tujhe naukri se toh nikalwayegi hee aur uske baad , teri tie se hee tera garden baandhkar kheechte hue chhat par le jayegi. Pahle wo tujhe laate laat maaregi aur jab aisa karke thak jayegi to… waha se seedhe neeche fek degi…. Sale, mar jayega…. ”
“abey wo hint de rahi hai mujhe kuch dino se, warna main ye sochta hee nahi…”
“kaisa hint…?”
“wo jaise hee mere saamne aati hai, ya main jaise hee uske saamne aata hu… wo bematlab muskurane lagti hai… wo bhi meri taraf dekh kar… 8 ghante ki shift me wo sirf mujhe hee mujhe dekhte rahti hai, jaise use mere bina ek pal bhi chain naa milta ho… main usko pyar se aajkal kuch bhi bolu… wo naa toh bol hee nahi sakti… meri ek smile hee kafi hai…”
“aye mere bakchod aashiq, tu toh pelayega hee , sath me mujhe bhi lekar dubega… waise bhi 3 baar attempt karne ke baad Ericsson walo ne naukri par rakha hai….”
“tujhe thodi kuch hoga… tujhe kya hoga”
“sabko pata hai ki main yaha kiske refrence se aaya hu, hum dono bakre ke do taang ki tarah hai… jo Ericsson namak company me abhi filhal latke hue hai… Nivedita rani hai, ek kasayi… ab jaise hee tu use apne tharkipan se avagat karayega toh wo apni kulhadi uthayegi aur jor se dono taango ke beecho-beech maregi , anda-vanda sab foot jayega be… ek taraf tu lahu-luhan pada hoga aur dusari taraf main….”
“ dara mat yar tu… already fati me hoon”
“aur waise kis hint ki baat kar raha hai tu… ? yahi hint lekar tu ab tak kitni baar kitni ladkiyo ko approach kar chuka hai…? Aur jo hint tune bataye hai… waise toh main bhi tujhe dekhkar bematlab apna daant dikha deta hu, 8 ghante me se 8 ghante tere sath rahta hu… toh kya tu ab mujhe bhi propose karega…?”
“hat… sale … gay… kaha Nivedita Rani… yani ki Nive…Niv… mast nickname hai. Kaha Nivedita Rani… yaani ki Niv aur kaha tu. kaha wo kudrat ka karishma aur kaha tu kudrat ka shraap…. Kaha wo hoor ki pari aur kaha tu dharti ke danav… kaha wo gulaab ka phool aur kaha tum, sale.. cactus ke kaante… kaha wo aasman ki lalima aur kaha tu… gutter ki kaalima…. Kaha wo is grah ki atyant..”
“bas bhai bas…. Bas… samajh gaya main aur example dene ki jaroorat nahi hai… ek minute…. Yee…”Ved bolte hue achanak ruka. Use maano achanak kuch yaad aaya aur mere trouser ke front pocket ki taraf ishara karke puchha..
“wo kya hai…”
“lund hai… lega..?”
“lawde, tere daye jeb me kya hai….”
“mobile…”
“fir teri bayi jeb me kya hai…”
“mera naya mobile… do-do mobile hai mere paas”chhat ki taraf dekhte hue maine kaha “bahut aamir hu main… ek personal mobile, dusara professional… kuch din baad do-do interceptor bullet bhi hogi mere paas… ek baye hath se chalaunga, ek daye hath se… ”
“aur uske kuch dino baad 2-2 lund bhi ho jayenge tere paas … ek se ladki ko chodega, toh ek se khud ko… wo dusari jeb me wahi hai na , jo main soch raha hai…”
“nah…nahi … kya soch raha hai tu, mujhe kaise pata hoga…”
“teri is harqat se bahut pahle se waqif hu main… dekh, tu use wo nahi dega… chutiya hai kya be… wo koyi chhoti bachchi hai kya jo tu use chocolate dega… tere kuch bolne se pahle hee reject kar degi… 28 saal ka ho gaya hai ab tu”
“mehnga wala hai, bada wala…”jeb se nikal kar chocolate maine Ved ko dikhaya
Main chocolate hath me hilate hue Ved ko dikha hee raha tha ki Ved ne jhatke se mere hath se chocolate chheena aur turant neeche fek diya….
“sale teri izzat nahi hai, lekin meri toh hai… kya sochegi Nivedita Rani mere bare me… jab tu use chocolate dega toh… hum dono land of white tigers se belong karte hai…”
“abey, wo tere bare me kyun sochegi…”jhallate hue maine ground floor me pade chocolate ko dum todte hue dekha…
“pata nahi…”
“upset kar diya yar tu…. Confidence ekdum zero hai abhi mere andar… kya bolunga use main…”
“toh tu sach me serious hai…?”
“ab tak kya main chinese me bol rha tha…”
“aisa hai toh fir chal…”mere kandhe me hath rakh kar Ved chalte hue bola “ab Nivedita Rani yani Niv ko pata kar hee chhodenge… naukri jaye to jaye… 20,000 wali naukri kar lunga, jo main yaha aane se pahle kar raha tha…”
“aur main…? Mera kya hoga, yadi mujhe naukri se nikal diya toh…”
“tujhe bhi dila dunga… aur Sunayana mam wali sexy kahani bhi sunaunga… par waha main tera senior rahunga… bahut maza aayega jab main tujhe bolunga ki… aye chhotu, ja mere liye chai leke aa…. Aye chhotu , ye le idhar jhaadu maar… ”
“ho gaya chal… ab kandhe se hath hata, office pahuch gaye… logo ko dikhna chahiye ki main bahut strict hu…”
“yes boss…”
Ved ne mere kandhe se hath hataya aur fir jaise hee hum dono office me dakhil hue… main uspar jor se chillaya….
“kal ki site kyun clear nahi hui… roj-roj ka bahana bana rakha hai tum logo ne… ”
“wo sir Engineer Metro telecom ka tha toh… aur upar se kal uska first day tha…”
Index at #4