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HUMA HO GAYI EXAM ME FAIL 1
Huma apne class mein baithi thi, haath mein exam ke paper lekar, jo uski teacher ne thamaaye the. Huma padhai mein utni tez nahi thi, lekin aaj tak kabhi fail bhi nahi hui thi. Aaj pehli baar uske saath aisa hua tha. Uske aankhon ke kone se aansu chhalk rahe the, aur uske haath thodi si kaanp rahe the. Usne paper ko gaur se dekha—50 mein se sirf 4 number mile the. Uske dil ki dhadkan tez ho gayi, aur mann mein sawaal ghoom rahe the, "Ye kya ho gaya? Ab ammi-abbu ko kya jawab doongi?"
Udas ho kar, Huma cafeteria mein cold coffee pee rahi thi jab uski best friend Farzana apne boyfriend ke saath uske paas aayi. "Huma, hum dono bahar outing ka plan kar rahe hain. Chalegi...?" Farzana ki nazrein Huma ke udas chehre par padi. "Kya hua, Huma? Itni udas kyun ho?"
"Farzu, paper mein fail ho gayi yaar!" Huma aadhe rote hue Farzana ko ghurte hue kaha. "Are Huma, kuch nahi hota hai yaar, waise bhi ye finals thodi hain, abhi bahut time hai," Farzana ke boyfriend ne usko samjhane ki koshish ki. Huma aadhe rote hue kehti hai, "Mere abbu to zarur meri shaadi kara denge yaar." Uske ye betuki baat sun kar, Farzana aur uska boyfriend hansne lage. Kuch der baat karne ke baad, wo dono Huma ko chhod kar outing ke liye bahar nikal gaye.
Huma ko dopahar mein aur classes attend karne ka dil nahi tha, isliye wo bhi college se auto pakad kar ghar jaane lagi. Usko samajh nahi aa raha tha ki ye khabar ghar mein kaise de, kyunki use pata tha ki 'fail' sunte hi gharwale is baat ka batangad bana denge, khaskar uske abbu jo nahi chahte the ki wo padhe aur jald se jald uski nikah kara dena chahte the.
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Huma ghar ke paas utari aur dheere-dheere walking karke ghar ki taraf badhne lagi. Uske dimaag mein 'fail' ka word echo ho raha tha, jisme woh itni lost thi ki pata hi nahi chala kab woh ghar pahunch gayi. Ghar ke andar, doopahar ka sannata tha. Huma ne bell bajayi, aur thodi der baad uski ammi bahar aayi, "Itni jaldi aa gayi, kuch hua toh nahi na? Tabiyat theek hai?"
Huma andar ghusate hue dheere se boli, "Sab theek hai ammi, just aaj mood nahi tha classes ka." Ispe huma ki ammi gussa karke jawab deti hain, "Batao, free ki classes hain kya jo aise chhod deti ho?"
"Kya ammi, hamesha toh karti hoon, aaj bas man nahi kiya." Yeh sun huma ki ammi use fresh hone ko kehti hain aur khana nikalne kitchen mein chali jaati hain.
Huma ghabra rahi thi ki ab kya kare. Abbu-ammi ko toh batana hi tha, lekin agar woh abbu ko batati toh pata tha ki woh gussa ho jayenge, aur ammi toh shayad use pakad ke pit de. Bechari Huma kafi pareshan si thi.
Sham ho gayi aur Farzana Huma se milne tapak padi. Woh dono uske room mein baatein karne lagi.
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"Huma, maine tujhe kitni baar samjhaya hai, padhai likhai kar lekin tu toh sirf chudane mein hi interested rehti hai," Farzana ne gussa karke kaha. Huma apna sir jhuka ke haule se jawab deti hai, "Kahan yaar, mera toh bf bhi nahi hai."
Ispe Farzana muskurate hue kehti hai, "Saali, mera to bf hai phir bhi main tujhse kam chudti hoon. Kabhi kabhi padhai kar liya kar, saali."
Farzana Huma ki chutki kaat rahi thi, wahin dusri taraf Huma ka gaand fata pada tha. Wo Farzana se help maang rahi thi, "Farzu, kya karun yaar? Kuch tarkeeb bata na." Is par Farzana hansate hue jawab deti hai, "Isme kya hai? Jaa ke pakad us professor ko, chadh ja uske lund pe. Agar chakka nahi hua toh zarur paas kar dega, ha ha ha!" Farzana ki baat sunkar Huma apna sir jhuka deti hai aur haule se kehti hai, "Madam hai!!!" Is par Farzana thahake maar ke hansati hai, "Saali, tune pehle hi soch rakha tha kya? Ha ha ha!" Huma apni jeebh nikaal kar aage badhti hai aur Farzana ke boobs pakad leti hai, gusse mein kehti hai, "Bhak saali, hamesha mera mazak banati rehti hai!" Farzana, jise dard hone laga tha, cheekhti hai, "Huma, chhod saali!!!" Aise kuch der tak dono ek dusre ka taang khinchate hain, phir Farzana alvida le kar wahan se chali jaati hai.
Huma raat ko apne bistar par leti hui sochti hai ki ghar walon ko kaise bataya jaaye ki wo ek paper mein fail ho gayi hai. Wo janti thi ki seedhe abbu ko batana sahi nahi hoga, matlab use ammi ko batana padega. Lekin ammi ko kaise bataye? Huma ye soch hi rahi thi ki uske dimag ki batti jali. Usne mann mein socha, "Ammi jab khush rahengi tab bataungi." Aur use pata tha apni ammi ko khush karne ka ek nayab tarika.
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Agle din, Huma tayyar hokar college ko nikli, lekin pehle rasta modkar apni ammi ke ashiq ke kiraye ke ghar pahunch gayi. Darwaza khatkhataya toh aankh machte hi wo kameena bahar nikla. Huma ko dekhte hi cheekh pada, "Arre saali, tu aayi hai? Lagta hai aaj chudane ka mood hai tujhe!" Huma ke chehre par gussa chalak jata hai. Use kinare karke wo kamra band kar deti hai aur palang par baith jaati hai. Sidhe mudde ki baat par aati hai, "Kab se ammi ko nahi choda hai?" Ye sunte hi wo kameena hadbada jata hai, "Aien? Kya keh rahi hai re saali tu?" Huma gusse se jawab deti hai, "Saale, jo pucha hai uska jawab de!"
"Ho kya gaya saali," uski ammi ka ashiq Huma ko bolta hai, "Accha, tujhe mera kaam karna hai?" Uska kaan shatarka ho jata hai, "Kaun sa kaam!?" Ispe Huma tez nazaron se ghurte hue use dekh ke bolti hai, "Tujhe meri ammi ko khush rakhna hai, samjhe?" Ispe wo hansate hue kehta hai, "Khush to rehti hai wo, aisa kya chahti hai pagal saali?" Huma khadi hoti hai aur bahar nikalne lagti hai kamre se, "Wahi jo tune suna madarchod, ammi ko khush kar jaake aaj, mujhe bhi ek chota bhai/behan chahiye, pregnant kar de use." Huma ne use uskane ke liye ye sab kaha tha, "Aur nahi kiya to, saali tere ammi ke jaise kayi raand hai jo mere liye tadapte hain," usne apne kamini muskan se kaha. Ispe Huma muskate hue kehti hai, "Raand hi chod sakta hai tu!" Yeh kehkar Huma wahan se nikal sidhe college ko chali jaati hai.
Huma apne class mein baithi thi, haath mein exam ke paper lekar, jo uski teacher ne thamaaye the. Huma padhai mein utni tez nahi thi, lekin aaj tak kabhi fail bhi nahi hui thi. Aaj pehli baar uske saath aisa hua tha. Uske aankhon ke kone se aansu chhalk rahe the, aur uske haath thodi si kaanp rahe the. Usne paper ko gaur se dekha—50 mein se sirf 4 number mile the. Uske dil ki dhadkan tez ho gayi, aur mann mein sawaal ghoom rahe the, "Ye kya ho gaya? Ab ammi-abbu ko kya jawab doongi?"
Udas ho kar, Huma cafeteria mein cold coffee pee rahi thi jab uski best friend Farzana apne boyfriend ke saath uske paas aayi. "Huma, hum dono bahar outing ka plan kar rahe hain. Chalegi...?" Farzana ki nazrein Huma ke udas chehre par padi. "Kya hua, Huma? Itni udas kyun ho?"
"Farzu, paper mein fail ho gayi yaar!" Huma aadhe rote hue Farzana ko ghurte hue kaha. "Are Huma, kuch nahi hota hai yaar, waise bhi ye finals thodi hain, abhi bahut time hai," Farzana ke boyfriend ne usko samjhane ki koshish ki. Huma aadhe rote hue kehti hai, "Mere abbu to zarur meri shaadi kara denge yaar." Uske ye betuki baat sun kar, Farzana aur uska boyfriend hansne lage. Kuch der baat karne ke baad, wo dono Huma ko chhod kar outing ke liye bahar nikal gaye.
Huma ko dopahar mein aur classes attend karne ka dil nahi tha, isliye wo bhi college se auto pakad kar ghar jaane lagi. Usko samajh nahi aa raha tha ki ye khabar ghar mein kaise de, kyunki use pata tha ki 'fail' sunte hi gharwale is baat ka batangad bana denge, khaskar uske abbu jo nahi chahte the ki wo padhe aur jald se jald uski nikah kara dena chahte the.
---
Huma ghar ke paas utari aur dheere-dheere walking karke ghar ki taraf badhne lagi. Uske dimaag mein 'fail' ka word echo ho raha tha, jisme woh itni lost thi ki pata hi nahi chala kab woh ghar pahunch gayi. Ghar ke andar, doopahar ka sannata tha. Huma ne bell bajayi, aur thodi der baad uski ammi bahar aayi, "Itni jaldi aa gayi, kuch hua toh nahi na? Tabiyat theek hai?"
Huma andar ghusate hue dheere se boli, "Sab theek hai ammi, just aaj mood nahi tha classes ka." Ispe huma ki ammi gussa karke jawab deti hain, "Batao, free ki classes hain kya jo aise chhod deti ho?"
"Kya ammi, hamesha toh karti hoon, aaj bas man nahi kiya." Yeh sun huma ki ammi use fresh hone ko kehti hain aur khana nikalne kitchen mein chali jaati hain.
Huma ghabra rahi thi ki ab kya kare. Abbu-ammi ko toh batana hi tha, lekin agar woh abbu ko batati toh pata tha ki woh gussa ho jayenge, aur ammi toh shayad use pakad ke pit de. Bechari Huma kafi pareshan si thi.
Sham ho gayi aur Farzana Huma se milne tapak padi. Woh dono uske room mein baatein karne lagi.
---
"Huma, maine tujhe kitni baar samjhaya hai, padhai likhai kar lekin tu toh sirf chudane mein hi interested rehti hai," Farzana ne gussa karke kaha. Huma apna sir jhuka ke haule se jawab deti hai, "Kahan yaar, mera toh bf bhi nahi hai."
Ispe Farzana muskurate hue kehti hai, "Saali, mera to bf hai phir bhi main tujhse kam chudti hoon. Kabhi kabhi padhai kar liya kar, saali."
Farzana Huma ki chutki kaat rahi thi, wahin dusri taraf Huma ka gaand fata pada tha. Wo Farzana se help maang rahi thi, "Farzu, kya karun yaar? Kuch tarkeeb bata na." Is par Farzana hansate hue jawab deti hai, "Isme kya hai? Jaa ke pakad us professor ko, chadh ja uske lund pe. Agar chakka nahi hua toh zarur paas kar dega, ha ha ha!" Farzana ki baat sunkar Huma apna sir jhuka deti hai aur haule se kehti hai, "Madam hai!!!" Is par Farzana thahake maar ke hansati hai, "Saali, tune pehle hi soch rakha tha kya? Ha ha ha!" Huma apni jeebh nikaal kar aage badhti hai aur Farzana ke boobs pakad leti hai, gusse mein kehti hai, "Bhak saali, hamesha mera mazak banati rehti hai!" Farzana, jise dard hone laga tha, cheekhti hai, "Huma, chhod saali!!!" Aise kuch der tak dono ek dusre ka taang khinchate hain, phir Farzana alvida le kar wahan se chali jaati hai.
Huma raat ko apne bistar par leti hui sochti hai ki ghar walon ko kaise bataya jaaye ki wo ek paper mein fail ho gayi hai. Wo janti thi ki seedhe abbu ko batana sahi nahi hoga, matlab use ammi ko batana padega. Lekin ammi ko kaise bataye? Huma ye soch hi rahi thi ki uske dimag ki batti jali. Usne mann mein socha, "Ammi jab khush rahengi tab bataungi." Aur use pata tha apni ammi ko khush karne ka ek nayab tarika.
---
Agle din, Huma tayyar hokar college ko nikli, lekin pehle rasta modkar apni ammi ke ashiq ke kiraye ke ghar pahunch gayi. Darwaza khatkhataya toh aankh machte hi wo kameena bahar nikla. Huma ko dekhte hi cheekh pada, "Arre saali, tu aayi hai? Lagta hai aaj chudane ka mood hai tujhe!" Huma ke chehre par gussa chalak jata hai. Use kinare karke wo kamra band kar deti hai aur palang par baith jaati hai. Sidhe mudde ki baat par aati hai, "Kab se ammi ko nahi choda hai?" Ye sunte hi wo kameena hadbada jata hai, "Aien? Kya keh rahi hai re saali tu?" Huma gusse se jawab deti hai, "Saale, jo pucha hai uska jawab de!"
"Ho kya gaya saali," uski ammi ka ashiq Huma ko bolta hai, "Accha, tujhe mera kaam karna hai?" Uska kaan shatarka ho jata hai, "Kaun sa kaam!?" Ispe Huma tez nazaron se ghurte hue use dekh ke bolti hai, "Tujhe meri ammi ko khush rakhna hai, samjhe?" Ispe wo hansate hue kehta hai, "Khush to rehti hai wo, aisa kya chahti hai pagal saali?" Huma khadi hoti hai aur bahar nikalne lagti hai kamre se, "Wahi jo tune suna madarchod, ammi ko khush kar jaake aaj, mujhe bhi ek chota bhai/behan chahiye, pregnant kar de use." Huma ne use uskane ke liye ye sab kaha tha, "Aur nahi kiya to, saali tere ammi ke jaise kayi raand hai jo mere liye tadapte hain," usne apne kamini muskan se kaha. Ispe Huma muskate hue kehti hai, "Raand hi chod sakta hai tu!" Yeh kehkar Huma wahan se nikal sidhe college ko chali jaati hai.
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